VHS Week Day 2: THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)


On a brutally stormy night, five rain-soaked travelers seek shelter in a gloomy Welsh manor that's home to the wildly eccentric Femm family. In short order we're introduced to brother Horace, who seems more afraid of dangers lurking within the house than those without; sister Rebecca, who warns against "fleshly love" and all manner of blasphemy; towering, mute, disfigured manservant Morgan; withered, bedridden patriarch Sir Roderick; and...whomever is locked away in a tiny room on the top floor.

Winds howl, floorboards creak, candlelight flickers, and shadows loom large as the night wears on. Horace grows increasingly fearful and paranoid as he refuses to wander upstairs. Tales of murder, suicide, and sinful siblings abound. Despite a warning that Morgan can't touch alcohol as he's a violent drunk, Morgan gets drunk. Then he unlocks that door on the top floor.


Yes indeed, The Old Dark House is at times truly suspenseful, a classic...well, a classic old dark house picture. It's particularly remarkable that with this film, James Whale simultaneously creates a genre and provides a cheeky take on the same. Sure, sure, there are frights lurking about here and there. but even more prevalent are the laughs: it's as much a black comedy as it is gothic thriller. (Incidentally, Whale would perfect this combination a few years later in Bride of Frankenstein.)

The Femm house is full of secrets and weirdos alike, and the result is a film that feels way ahead of its time. Gender-bent casting (though billed as John Dudgeon, it's Elspeth Dudgeon who portrays Sir Roderick), gay subtext, talk of sex and sin, piousness and atheism render The Old Dark House positively transgressive. It never quite approaches camp levels, but it teeters on the brink. Actors have a grand old time with the material, in particular Ernest Thesiger, who would reunite with Whale and give a memorable performance in Bride. Here, as Horace, he's an absolute delight who manages to make "Have a potato" a line worth quoting forever and always.


While The Old Dark House is certainly lauded, it's also a bit forgotten when the great Universal horror films are discussed. It's the sibling locked away in the rafters, the oddball who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the family...but really, that just means that it needs–and deserves–even more love and attention. Have a potato!

VHS Week Day 1: INCUBUS (1966)


Before I popped Incubus in my VCR, I popped on my Coat of Many Questions.
  • There are plenty of great languages to choose from, including English, French, and Klingon; why in the frig was Incubus filmed in Esperanto? 
  • Incubus is billed as a "long lost cult classic." It was missing in action for about 30 years, but a print was found and restored and should it have remained long lost and is it really a cult classic?
  • William Shatner?
Now that I've popped Incubus back in its cardboard sleeve, allow me to pop on my Coat of Many Answers.
  • Unlike English, French, or Klingon, Esperanto is an artificial/invented language. Incubus is largely an allegorical tale, and Esperanto (supposedly) helps create an "otherworldly" feel.
  • I don't think it's a cult classic–it's more of a footnote "Oh yeah, that Esperanto movie." It doesn't really get the affection afforded cult classics, does it? I don't think the Cool Kids have paid it much mind, with or without irony. I'll say it, though: I'm glad it's long lost no longer.
  • Well. *shrug* 
Kia (Allyson Ames) is a beautiful young succubus who's quite good at her job: leading corrupt men to their dooms so the Lord of Darkness can claim their souls. She's feeling restless, however, and realizes she's stagnated on her career path. Where's the challenge in seducing these men if they're already hellbound? It doesn't really speak to her demonic skills, she's just sort of expediting the process. But to corrupt a man who is pure of heart? To lure him to the dark side? Now that would get her name engraved on the Succubus of the Month plaque in Hell's employee break room. Surely she'd gain the notice of her master and, like, get a promotion or something.

She sets her sights on Marc (Shatner), a pure-of-heart war vet who lives with his sister on a small farm near a healing spring. Kia arranges a meet cute, pretending to be lost, and before five minutes pass she and Marc are making out and Marc declares his love for her. Kia proposes they get naked together ASAP, but Marc insists on marriage first.

And so the battle of the wills commences. Good and evil duke it out, but who will prevail? Will Kia successful corrupt Marc with evil, or will he corrupt her with love? Along the way to the answer, we're treated to a solar eclipse, the birth of an incubus, some good old fashioned virgin defilement, a star turn by one of Black Phillip's ancestors, and liberal use of a fog machine.

As I said, Incubus is meant to be an allegory, a myth, a fairy tale; characters are archetypes who talk about Big Ideas. Unfortunately, in terms of the script this simply means that characters will repeatedly talk about good and evil and good vs evil and souls and love and evil and good and souls and I'm sure you get it. The seriously honeybaked ham-fisted dialogue that's made all the worse by the Esperanto, which feels as stilted and unnatural as you might imagine, and clunky conversations are rendered...super clunky.

So why I am glad Incubus was saved from history's slush pile of the lost and the damned? Because thanks to the work of Oscar-winning cinematographer Conrad Hall (In Cold Blood, Marathon Man), this film is frequently stunning to behold and nearly achieves the arthouse vibe sought by writer/director Leslie Stevens.




It's a real beaut, and I daresay that if the script and acting had been a smidge better ("Oh, is that all?" - you)–or maybe if Esperanto had truly taken the world by storm–Incubus might truly be a cult classic, lauded alongside films like Carnival of Souls.

What can I say, Incubus has plenty of shortcomings, but sometimes Satanism wrapped in a pretty package is all it takes for me to be well satisfied. This film led me to my doom quite easily, thank you!

VHS Week Day 1: INCUBUS (1966)


Before I popped Incubus in my VCR, I popped on my Coat of Many Questions.
  • There are plenty of great languages to choose from, including English, French, and Klingon; why in the frig was Incubus filmed in Esperanto? 
  • Incubus is billed as a "long lost cult classic." It was missing in action for about 30 years, but a print was found and restored and should it have remained long lost and is it really a cult classic?
  • William Shatner?
Now that I've popped Incubus back in its cardboard sleeve, allow me to pop on my Coat of Many Answers.
  • Unlike English, French, or Klingon, Esperanto is an artificial/invented language. Incubus is largely an allegorical tale, and Esperanto (supposedly) helps create an "otherworldly" feel.
  • I don't think it's a cult classic–it's more of a footnote "Oh yeah, that Esperanto movie." It doesn't really get the affection afforded cult classics, does it? I don't think the Cool Kids have paid it much mind, with or without irony. I'll say it, though: I'm glad it's long lost no longer.
  • Well. *shrug* 
Kia (Allyson Ames) is a beautiful young succubus who's quite good at her job: leading corrupt men to their dooms so the Lord of Darkness can claim their souls. She's feeling restless, however, and realizes she's stagnated on her career path. Where's the challenge in seducing these men if they're already hellbound? It doesn't really speak to her demonic skills, she's just sort of expediting the process. But to corrupt a man who is pure of heart? To lure him to the dark side? Now that would get her name engraved on the Succubus of the Month plaque in Hell's employee break room. Surely she'd gain the notice of her master and, like, get a promotion or something.

She sets her sights on Marc (Shatner), a pure-of-heart war vet who lives with his sister on a small farm near a healing spring. Kia arranges a meet cute, pretending to be lost, and before five minutes pass she and Marc are making out and Marc declares his love for her. Kia proposes they get naked together ASAP, but Marc insists on marriage first.

And so the battle of the wills commences. Good and evil duke it out, but who will prevail? Will Kia successful corrupt Marc with evil, or will he corrupt her with love? Along the way to the answer, we're treated to a solar eclipse, the birth of an incubus, some good old fashioned virgin defilement, a star turn by one of Black Phillip's ancestors, and liberal use of a fog machine.

As I said, Incubus is meant to be an allegory, a myth, a fairy tale; characters are archetypes who talk about Big Ideas. Unfortunately, in terms of the script this simply means that characters will repeatedly talk about good and evil and good vs evil and souls and love and evil and good and souls and I'm sure you get it. The seriously honeybaked ham-fisted dialogue that's made all the worse by the Esperanto, which feels as stilted and unnatural as you might imagine, and clunky conversations are rendered...super clunky.

So why I am glad Incubus was saved from history's slush pile of the lost and the damned? Because thanks to the work of Oscar-winning cinematographer Conrad Hall (In Cold Blood, Marathon Man), this film is frequently stunning to behold and nearly achieves the arthouse vibe sought by writer/director Leslie Stevens.




It's a real beaut, and I daresay that if the script and acting had been a smidge better ("Oh, is that all?" - you)–or maybe if Esperanto had truly taken the world by storm–Incubus might truly be a cult classic, lauded alongside films like Carnival of Souls.

What can I say, Incubus has plenty of shortcomings, but sometimes Satanism wrapped in a pretty package is all it takes for me to be well satisfied. This film led me to my doom quite easily, thank you!

VHS Week Day 1: INCUBUS (1966)


Before I popped Incubus in my VCR, I popped on my Coat of Many Questions.
  • There are plenty of great languages to choose from, including English, French, and Klingon; why in the frig was Incubus filmed in Esperanto? 
  • Incubus is billed as a "long lost cult classic." It was missing in action for about 30 years, but a print was found and restored and should it have remained long lost and is it really a cult classic?
  • William Shatner?
Now that I've popped Incubus back in its cardboard sleeve, allow me to pop on my Coat of Many Answers.
  • Unlike English, French, or Klingon, Esperanto is an artificial/invented language. Incubus is largely an allegorical tale, and Esperanto (supposedly) helps create an "otherworldly" feel.
  • I don't think it's a cult classic–it's more of a footnote "Oh yeah, that Esperanto movie." It doesn't really get the affection afforded cult classics, does it? I don't think the Cool Kids have paid it much mind, with or without irony. I'll say it, though: I'm glad it's long lost no longer.
  • Well. *shrug* 
Kia (Allyson Ames) is a beautiful young succubus who's quite good at her job: leading corrupt men to their dooms so the Lord of Darkness can claim their souls. She's feeling restless, however, and realizes she's stagnated on her career path. Where's the challenge in seducing these men if they're already hellbound? It doesn't really speak to her demonic skills, she's just sort of expediting the process. But to corrupt a man who is pure of heart? To lure him to the dark side? Now that would get her name engraved on the Succubus of the Month plaque in Hell's employee break room. Surely she'd gain the notice of her master and, like, get a promotion or something.

She sets her sights on Marc (Shatner), a pure-of-heart war vet who lives with his sister on a small farm near a healing spring. Kia arranges a meet cute, pretending to be lost, and before five minutes pass she and Marc are making out and Marc declares his love for her. Kia proposes they get naked together ASAP, but Marc insists on marriage first.

And so the battle of the wills commences. Good and evil duke it out, but who will prevail? Will Kia successful corrupt Marc with evil, or will he corrupt her with love? Along the way to the answer, we're treated to a solar eclipse, the birth of an incubus, some good old fashioned virgin defilement, a star turn by one of Black Phillip's ancestors, and liberal use of a fog machine.

As I said, Incubus is meant to be an allegory, a myth, a fairy tale; characters are archetypes who talk about Big Ideas. Unfortunately, in terms of the script this simply means that characters will repeatedly talk about good and evil and good vs evil and souls and love and evil and good and souls and I'm sure you get it. The seriously honeybaked ham-fisted dialogue that's made all the worse by the Esperanto, which feels as stilted and unnatural as you might imagine, and clunky conversations are rendered...super clunky.

So why I am glad Incubus was saved from history's slush pile of the lost and the damned? Because thanks to the work of Oscar-winning cinematographer Conrad Hall (In Cold Blood, Marathon Man), this film is frequently stunning to behold and nearly achieves the arthouse vibe sought by writer/director Leslie Stevens.




It's a real beaut, and I daresay that if the script and acting had been a smidge better ("Oh, is that all?" - you)–or maybe if Esperanto had truly taken the world by storm–Incubus might truly be a cult classic, lauded alongside films like Carnival of Souls.

What can I say, Incubus has plenty of shortcomings, but sometimes Satanism wrapped in a pretty package is all it takes for me to be well satisfied. This film led me to my doom quite easily, thank you!

Yogurt With Forest Berries In Wooden Bowl

yogurt with berries in wooden bowl on wooden background

Limoncello Martinis

Limoncello Martinis

Fast Food Cup

Fast food cup. Isolated on white

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!

Adjust your tracking…

...and gird your loins, my friends, for on Monday begins...


It's true! I found a bunch of tapes in a box in a closet and what good are they if they are not getting in my eyeballs ASAP? None, no good at all, that's what I say. So now we will all be treated–"treated"–to a whopping 14 days of VHS delights and garbage.

"14 days," you say. "Does she not know how many days constitute a week? Has she never heard of a fortnight? Does she not know how to add?"

The answer to all of those questions is NO, but that's beside the point. The point is, come Monday I'm gonna VHS until my brain melts. If you've got any interest in what I'll be writin' 'bout when–assuming, you know, all the tapes work–here's the schedule. Add it to your Palm Pilot so you don't miss a hot minute!

Mon 5/2 - INCUBUS (1966, Leslie Stevens)
Tues 5/3 - THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932, James Whale)
Wed 5/4 - MIKEY (1992, Dennis Dimster)
Thur 5/5 - ANGUISH (1987, Bigas Luna)
Fri 5/6 - THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
Sat 5/7 - THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1971, Peter Duffell)
Sun 5/8 - RABID (1977, David Cronenberg)
Mon 5/9 - THE GRANNY (1995, Luca Bercovici)
Tues 5/10 - PARASITE (1982, Charles Band)
Wed 5/11 - DIE! DIE! MY DARLING! (1965, Silvio Narizzano)
Thur 5/12 - THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977, Richard Loncraine)
Fri 5/13 - THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (1971, Emilio Miraglia)
Sat 5/14 - THE ATTIC (1980, George Edwards & Gary Graver)
Sun 5/15 - MARTIN (1977, George A. Romero)

Why, there's some good, classic stuff in the list that I can't wait to watch. Yes, I'm talking about Mikey. It stars Josie Bissett of television's Melrose Place, of course I'm excited about it. Hmm, now that I think about it, I should just do 14 days of Mikey!