Entries Tagged 'amc' ↓

dance to the death

Another week, another list. Over at AMC I lay out my 10 favorite horror movie dance scenes. I'm sure yours are the same, because I know everything. Right?


Of course this in on the list. I mean, duh.

Bad Girls Club

Don't let that title scare you: I'm not going to talk about Bad Girls Club the reality show...although I could. I could because I watch it, which is something I'm perhaps a little bit ashamed of, but on the other hand I don't care. The show, which throws seven generally horrible women in a house together for...well, I guess no good reason, really, is pretty much a display of womanhood (or perhaps humanity) at its worst. It's also a prime example of the poor state of television today, how creative, thought-provoking shows are tossed by the wayside to make way for "real life" programs where people act like jerks.

Then again, Bad Girls Club is thought-provoking in a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom sort of way. I watch and I wonder what I would do if I were suddenly thrust into their den of debauchery. They'd all put on their...things that can't possibly qualify as dresses and go out to get tanked for the 14th night in a row, while I'd decline to stay home and watch Cathy's Curse, followed up by a few hours of playing Dragon Age (hurr hurr I'm an elf mage!), followed up by an issue or two of old Uncanny X-Men. They'd yell at me and threaten to beat me up, and I'd remind them that I'm old and I'm a nerd, and then I'd cry. I can't relate to these women on any level whatsoever, and thus Bad Girls Club is one of the 4 or 5 shows I watch. Judge me if you will!

Holy crap, I said I wasn't going to talk about the reality show, and then I totally did. I lied! Gasssssp, maybe I am a Bad Girl after all!

What I really meant to talk about, though, is this week's column at AMC by moi truly, wherein I offer up a list of ten of my favorite She-Creatures and Bad Girls and Villainessesssess of Horror. I tried to think a little bit outside the box and throw some different names around, but not TOO outside the box because that's scary. Enjoy!

Watch Bad Girls Club, only on Oxygen!


___ from the haunted _____

Roger Corman got an extremely well-deserved honorary Oscar, and to pay tribute and make with the content for my AMC column, I listed my top 10 favorite Corman flicks. You can read what they are by clicking right here! What a remarkable achievement in technology, much like a rubber suit.

they’re so lame, Brewster!

At AMC this week, I'm talking about the big lameoids of horror who, one assumes, are supposed to be scary but aren't. The "...Movie Monsters" in the title may be a bit misleading unless you use a broad definition of the word "monsters", which...I don't know, maybe you will, maybe you won't. I can't solve all of your problems.

And you know who's on the list, right? A little (and I do mean little) someone who happens to be in this photograph:

Ack, Rumplestiltskin is so at the forefront of my brain lately! Why is that? I can feel the urge to watch the movie growing in my consciousness. "It's so good!" I think to myself, even when I look at the picture above, which...let's face it- it should probably be put on trial for crimes against humanity. There's some kind of subliminal mind-controlling frequency in that film, I swear. That's the only reasonable explanation for the hold it has over me. It's like Jim Jones himself shat that thing into existence.

Fucketh me!


I don't get sick very often. Maybe one cold a year. Haven't had a stomach flu since first grade, when I barfed all over the classroom floor and my Incredible Hulk costume at my class's Halloween party. I don't know why, but I seem to have ninja-esque white blood cells who chop chop chop the sickness out of my system the moment it arrives. YES I'M BRAGGING because I like bragging about it, especially since it's just the way things are for me. It's like pretty people bragging about being pretty, or people with four arms bragging about having four arms: you didn't really do anything to actually earn these accolades you're pouring all over yourself, but go right ahead! I'm not a bragger, but I'm proud of my immune system that has little to do with my actions.

But don't worry, I'm sure I'll get my comeuppance somehow. I probably have 14-17 types of cancer, Ebola, consumption, Scarlet Fever, Pac-Man Fever, Restless Leg Syndrome, and, somehow, the Black Plague all simmering deep in my bones and organs, lying in wait until I shoot my mouth off one time too many, and then they'll all spring themselves on me at once and everyone can laugh at me as I bubble and dissolve away like I'm trapped in the ending of Evil Dead. Yay, something for us all to look forward to! I hope I leave a big stain.

The point of all this is, I wrote about horror movie hospitals this week at AMC and you should read it.

like, stuff and other things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...over at AMC, I wanna rock and roll and watch horror movies all night, and party every once in a while, so long as there are snacks. What that means is, I'm talking about rock & roll (or rock 'n' roll, if you wish) horror movies. Not musicals, not rock operas...well, you'll see what I mean.

In related news, here's my old old old review of Trick or Treat. It's totally one of those movies that isn't that great while I'm watching it, but thinking or talking about it later gets me all jazzed to see it again. You know, like Rumplestiltskin. I talked about that phenomenecronomicon here, in the first annual Hey Internet! Stop Being Such Cynical Effing Douchebags! blog-a-thon. Reading my entry and clicking links to other blogs who joined in, I think it's about high time for another go at it. Ooh, mayhaps an announcement next week! Rumpie himself is excited.

Heidi Martinuzzi of Pretty-Scary sounded off on the Ms. Horror Blogosphere contest currently up and running at The Vault of Horror. I know most of the entrants in at least a cyber-fashion (some I'd even call cyber-pals!), and I read a good portion of the blogs these women maintain. Glancing over the entries introduced me to some new sites, which is always a good thing. I'm beyond flattered that a few ladies mentioned me in their interview answers.

I know it's all meant to be in good fun, and maybe you'll think I'm being an old fart about it, but I find that my views on the affair are in line with Martinuzzi's, who writes,
Despite being a contest amongst bloggers, who are writers and journalists, each entry requires a photo of the lady and a bio. Which begs the question - why aren't they just being judged on the quality of their blog and writing? Answer: because it is never too late to judge women based on their looks...
Read the rest of her post here. It's commendable to draw attention to the fact that there are, indeed, plenty of women out there writing about horror movies. As with men writing about horror movies, the blogs all have different voices, different spins- although it seems to me that this contest doesn't celebrate that fact. Yes, there are links to each entrant's respective blog, but...why not talk about their writing in the interviews? Where are the writing samples? There are the obligatory questions about the genesis of the blogs and the inspiration these women find, but those questions are right alongside photos of the authors and questions about which horror movie characters they'd like to fuck.


And in the end, they're all pitted against each other in a sort of Miss Grand National Star Grand Supreme (you know, the horror edition) so we can vote and choose which one is the best. Because it has to be a competition, yeah? There can't simply be a spotlight thrown on each blog where we learn about new writers and their sites...after all, they're women.

it’s wednesday!

Another Wednesday, another column at AMC. Friendos, feast your face on The North American Field Guide to Slasher Psychos! It's only small, but remember- Mr. John James Audubon began with but one bird.


Also, if you've visited any other horror site besides mine this week, then surely you know that two new trailers have premiered for genre films starring one- not two, but one- Brittany Murphy.

First up is Deadline, wherein Murphy plays a writer who shacks up in a creepy manse to work on whatever it is she's working on. Creepy stuff starts happening, she finds some DV tapes, she pieces together the mystery of said manse, it all feels vaguely familiar, and the audience wonders what the fuck happened to Thora Birch's career and whether she sees pictures of Scarlett Johanssen and is all "Hey people, I was in Ghost World, too!". Deadline hits December 1, and you can watch the trailer at Shock Till You Drop.

Also, the poster?

I'm not sure what that emotion is. Fear? Ennui? Indigestion? Geez. And if it were me, I wouldn't risk bringing my camera in the tub for fear of dropping it in the water. I'd also be concerned about the giant floating Rosemary's Baby-ish face behind me.

The second trailer that went up this week is for Across the Hall, described as thus:
A quiet night takes a dangerous turn when Julian receives a frantic phone call from his best friend, Terry. Terry claims to have followed his unfaithful fiancée, June, to a seedy hotel on the other side of town. To make matters worse, he’s staked out the room across the hall from her, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a revolver in the other. Julian pleads with his friend to stay put while he rushes to avert disaster.
Murphy is the unfaithful fiancee. Check out the intriguing, lethargic trailer at Apple.com...the site says "in theaters December 4", but that seems...unlikely. Home theaters, maybe?

Also, the poster?

Supermodel with headache- that's some ANTM shit! Still, my Brittany Murphy obsession means I'm compelled to see these (two movies in one week- that's practically an event!). Wouldn't it be nice if they were both fucking awesome?

double your terror

Yo! MTV Raps So check it, y'all...this week at AMC I'm all about doubling your pleasure, your fun, and your frights with a wee column about twins in horror movies. Yes, I talk about The Shining, but I posit that the Grady Girls are the most famous horror movie twins who are not, in fact, twins. I am a rabble-rouser, caring not a whit for my own well-being in the face of the slings, arrows, and "UR so dum of course they R twinz LOL a-hole" from The Internet. Read my piece and say what you will!

In other news, my fucking ONE THOUSANDTH post is coming up super fast. What should I do to celebrate? Should I simply wear something fancy while I post a picture of someone from some obscure 80s sitcom, something that has nothing to do with horror? Nah, I do that all the time...hmm. I don't know. I'd like to do something interactive-y, but I don't even know what that means and it sounds way too cyber for my meager blogging skills.

be your own Romero

Hey, remember that time when my AMC column featured some tips for making your own low-budget horror movie? Yeah? Well, guess what- this week I'm giving out more totally unsolicited filmmaking advice! Hooray!

Speaking of unsolicited advice...I can't say I'm wild about what you've done with your hair.

Also, it's hard to believe that I'm not earning a living with my clearly AMAZING Photoshop skills.


You heard me- get out and head over to AMC, where this week I've cooked up a little guide to some of my favorite haunted houses (for haunted hotels, get in your Wayback Machine). I do so enjoy a haunted house movie. It's one of my favorite subgenres.

Okay, so they're pretty much ALL my favorite subgenres because I fucking love horror movies! I do. You may not have known that up until this point, but it's true. I really dig horror movies, and they make me quite happy (except when they don't, but even then they kinda do). Hey horror movies- you're the best! *Slaps horror movies on the ass*

Anyway, That's not all I've got cooking at AMC this week, oh my stars no. I've also cooked up a couple of quizzes to test your horror trivia mettle. Answer correctly...and quickly, for if the timer runs out on either quiz, your computer will explode in your face. That's right- I'm like the bastard lovechild of Jigsaw and Alex Trebek!


Anyway again, there's a short, easy, breezy, and beautiful quiz about slasher movie quotes, and there's the Halloween ultimate fan quiz. Halloween nerds will likely kick butt, but I tried to throw in some obscurities.

Report back with your results...unless you went and got yourself exploded.

it’s wednesday!

Yes, it's true: it's Wednesday! That means I've got a column up at AMC...and this week, I'm talking about a little something something called Night of the Creeps, which is getting a DVD reissue on the 27th. AWESOMESAUCE.
Over yonder at the mysterious parts known as "Horror Blips", there's a roundup of horror bloggers revealing what incessantly scares 'em in genre cinema. If you would like to find out what I said...and/or what everybody said, then make with the click click!

Wednesday is made for lovers

I don't know what that title really means. Autumn has finally officially arrived in Los Angeles- everyone's talking about the fact that it's RAINING!- and Halloween fast approaches. However, everyone knows that northern New England is the best place to be when fall rolls around, so I've been thinking about that and missing it...especially Vermont, which made me think of the ubiquitous bumper stickers claiming that "Vermont is for lovers". However, I totally remembered those bumper stickers wrong: in fact, they say "I LoVermont", and the more I reflect on it, the more I'm inclined to think that it's actually Virginia that claims to be for lovers, so none of this makes any sense, really.

Isn't that a fascinating glimpse into my mind? By the way, IT'S RAINING!

The point of this post is really to draw your attention to my AMC column this week, which is all about horror movie guilty pleasures. I'm not particularly fond of the term "guilty pleasure", because if you like something then by all means, like it. Still, there are some movies that you love even though no one else does...in fact, sometime people hate movie you love, and you find yourself:

1) defending the film against an onslaught of insults from angry horror nerds

2) thinking you may be crazy for liking said film

3) keeping your mouth shut to avoid #1

It's okay- we've all got 'em. I listed five in my column, but there are plenty more rattling around in my head (Mommy, anyone?). Looking back on what I wrote, I don't know...I can't be the only one who loves The Craft. And really, I refuse to feel guilty about anything starring Brittany Murphy. Wait, I take that back...I'm a bit horrified to admit that I fucking sat through Uptown Girls. But at least I'm admitting it, which is the first step to something or other.

By the way, get your 15 clicks in! I thank you fiercely.

of note

Hey! Did you know that AMC is a channel on the tee vee?? It is!

Shocking, but true- it's more than just a place where I post a weekly column. Now, they haven't let me take over the programming for their annual FEARFEST (yet! mua ha ha...eh, who am I kidding?), but that doesn't mean there's not some great stuff coming up to watch. Here's some of the lo-down on what you can expect this month (I LOVE OCTOBER!!!):


This month, AMC presents AMC FEARFEST, the most highly anticipated horror movie marathon of the Halloween season. A celebration of the best in contemporary and classic horror films, AMC FEARFEST features over 50 horror titles, three AMC CELEBRATES events, and interviews with some of Hollywood’s most renowned horror filmmakers. The eight-day marathon airs from October 23 until Halloween Day, October 31 from 7:30am-midnight.

Headlining AMC FEARFEST is a star-studded lineup of acclaimed filmmakers, who will host and introduce the presented films and offer insight on what creates a great horror flick. Among the AMC FEARFEST hosts are on-screen legend Cloris Leachman (Young Frankenstein), actress Margot Kidder (Amityville Horror), award-winning writer/director, George Romero (Night of the Living Dead), actor Lance Henriksen (Aliens and Aliens 3) and special effects producer, Shane Mahan (SFX Creature Effects Aliens).

AMC FEARFEST will also feature three AMC CELEBRATES events, honoring the milestone anniversaries of some of horror’s greatest movies :

· AMC Celebrates Alien 30th Anniversary – Airing Friday, October 23 at 8pm ET.

· AMC Celebrates Young Frankenstein 35th Anniversary – Airing Friday, October 30 at 8pm ET.

· AMC Celebrates The Amityville Horror 30th Anniversary – Airing Friday, October 30 at 10 :30pm ET.

In addition, AMC FEARFEST will include film classics by directors such as Stanley Kubrick, Ridley Scott, Stephen King, James Cameron, John Carpenter, Joss Whedon, Peter Jackson and Brian De Palma, as well as a special Halloween Day Marathon featuring the world premiere of the digitally restored and re-mastered Night of the Living Dead, airing at 6pm ET.

As part of the network’s online promotions of AMC FEARFEST, amctv.com will feature extended video interviews with Romero, Mahan and Henriksen. Also, available will be countless horror-focused trivia quizzes about such classic movie franchises as Alien, Dracula, The Exorcist, Ghostbusters, and Halloween. In addition, online will feature horror-related tournaments, including battles between the ‘Brides of Horror,’ ‘Evil Children,’ ‘Sinister Satans,’ and much more. Finally, the website will also be adding two new fright flicks to its ever-growing online B-Movie catalogue: Werewolves on Wheels and Fiend without a Face.


Neat, huh? I'm psyched to see Margot Kidder getting some love, although all of those "30th Anniversaries" are making me feel wicked wicked OLD.

Here's another startling news fact for you: women make horror movies! Yes, they do! You can catch two of them this weekend at the LA Femme Film Festival:
  • The Commune, written and directed by Elisabeth Fies, is showing Saturday, 10/17 at 4pm
  • The Intervention, co-written and directed by Shannon Hile, is showing Friday, 10/16 at 4pm. It's also playing at Fangoria's Trinity of Terror in Las Vegas over Halloween weekend.
And you can take a peek at Haunting Kira, the forthcoming directorial debut from FX mistress Teresa Fahs, by checking out the teaser trailer.

Speaking of women who make horror movies, yes...I'm still plugging away at Ludlow, tweaking it here and there and getting feedback from respected sources. It's amazing- sometimes shaving off only a few seconds in a shot can make a huge difference in the big picture. I'm also cobbling together some behind the scenes goodies...and when it's all complete, I need to figure out what I'm gonna do with the damn thing. I'll be sure to let you know, as I know you've been wringing your hands in anticipation for what seems like forever! To help tide you over, I quickly threw together a wee poster- that's a still from the movie, y'all!

Speaking of me and the things I've directed...did you vote for They Won't Stay Fed! 15 times today? Thanks-a-plenty.


Tease: I've also got another mock trailer in the works, which I'm hoping to post up by Halloween...and that's all I'm gonna say about that. Wait, no it's not: for once, I may actually use it as the basis for a feature film. Gasp, shock, awe, etc. etc.


Look around you. Do you see any dogs? If yes, be aware: did you know they could be harboring homicidal thoughts about humans? If no, you should be fine. However, it may behoove you to read my AMC column this week, which is all about killer canines of the screen. Better to know the score than to get all chewed up by your four-legged friend.

On a random side note, has anyone ever seen Dario Argento's re-edit of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead? I came across the DVD recently, and I'd like to know if it's worth checking out if one has seen the original so many times.