Entries Tagged 'amc' ↓

talkin’ ’bout mah generation

There are a number of horror films that I watched when I was a very impressionable age, and they helped mold me into the fan I am. I list a bunch of them over at AMC today...so read and weigh in what what made you YOU. Bad movies are just as valid as good ones!

Ah, my youth. Believe me, I love living in an age of instant access. A zillion channels on the TV, a DVR, DVD player, streaming movies, blah blah blah. I do miss the charm of something like Creature Double Feature, though...it helped make movies that much more special. Movie Loft, the Sunday Movie at Noon, and the like were events to look forward to- and there weren't many other choices available, so you'd watch whatever flick came on. It was definitely an education. And really, how awesome is this?

If there was any mystery as to why I am the way I am, I'm sure that 30 seconds would solve it!


While I know you're a drooling fanboy/fangirl/fanthing for the So I Made A Movie series, it may not satisfy your itchy tasty cravings for some more practical low-to-no budget horror filmmaking. So...I Made A Column! At AMC! And it features Five Wee Rules for Making Your Own Backyard Horror Movie- sort of my mini version of Zen and the Art of DIY Horror, or some such. I'm not claiming to be an expert on anything, or even the person who bags the expert's groceries...but in the last year I've picked up the camera and pointed it at stuff many times, so I've learned a few things. Go and read it! Repost it! Then my editors at AMC will be all "Wow, Stacie, you're right- people are interested in this sort of column!" and I can write another one that contains more nuts and bolts advice, like how to make fake blood and stuff like that instead of counting down my top 5 favorite movies that feature people without hair or whatever. Do it for me! Better yet...do it for Briefcase Woman!

If you are a millionaire, take note: a limited number of tickets to the Reaper Awards are available to lucky fans for a mere $150 a pop! That doesn't get you into the cocktail party, but you get to watch the ceremony, which...is all about horror on DVD. Some online and print genre journalists came up with a list of nominees, and now you can go vote to determine, say, the best Blu-Ray horror release.

In other awards ceremony news, I present to you the five nominees in the category Things I Would Get With $150 Instead:
  • 18 copies of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon to pass out on street corners
  • 340 postage stamps to use on 340 letters to Lifetime Movie Network, thus beginning my grassroots campaign advocating Final Girl as Lifetime Movie Network Programmer for a Day
  • 26 gallons of Raspberry Ice Crystal Light ('cause I believe in me!)
  • I could make a few short films for $150, no probs
And the winner is...I'll let you know as soon as I have $150 lying around!

the wednesday usual

A long time ago (3+ years!) in a galaxy far, far away (err...this blog), I talked about slasher deaths I find notable for their non-knifey awesomeness. Well, guess what? I'm talkin' 'bout 'em again over at AMC this week. Check it out! CHECK IT OUT I SAY. It's a new batch o' kills, but you know I had to include my beloved football with a sword attached. It would surely be a crime against nature to leave it out, and the reason I'm on this planet is to spread Its word.


This week at AMC, I have compiled an ever-so-helpful list of the Top 10 Killer Families of Horror. You know, the folks who are all related through both blood and a love of murderin'...those who are usually referred to as some sort of "clan". That word really carries certain connotations, doesn't it? Or is that just me? Anyway, the Torrance family never engaged in any homicidal hijinks together, but I need to post this portrait anyway because it is made of 100% pure awesome.

You know what else is made entirely of awesome? This page, which features ten LEGO horror movie reenactments. The Thing? In LEGO? Yes, please. Oh, if they only had video cameras when I was a wee bonny lass... (thanks for the tip, Bill!)

wednesday is…

...AMC day! Wherein this week, if thou shouldst follow the linkage, you will behold a column by moi about blaxploitation horror movies. Scream, Horror Hacker, Scream!

...comic book day! It's true. Those of you out there who are not nerds may not know it, but Wednesday is the day all the new comics hit the shops. Soooo...I'm gonna point you to this interview with my pal Brent Schoonover. Why? Well, obviously because he's righteous. Also, because I'm inking his pencils on a little comic book called Vincent Price Presents! Yes, finally, Vincent Price is a comic book star. Our issue is forthcoming, and I'll be sure to keep you updated. The series is published by Bluewater Productions, an indie company who put out an eclectic mix of horror and political titles...yes, comics based on the Leprechaun franchise and the life of Michelle Obama are cranked off the same presses. As they should be.

At ant rate, here's a swell page by Brent and me, featuring Vincent gettin' his sweat on. Click to make it BIGGER!

Brent is a horror movie fan and a terrific artist; I saw this commission on his site and I had to repost it here. Mind you, I had to get a new keyboard first, as I'd drooled all over my last one when I saw this (again, click to embiggen):

...Prince Spaghetti Day! Or at least, that's what the Prince Spaghetti Company tried to convince us New Englanders back in the day. So...I'm programmed to eat pasta on hump day, even though Prince no longer exists and I'm on the left coast now. Hooray!

Babies are evil and being pregnant is weird!

That post title is the sentiment behind my newest AMC column. Mind you now, I'm not the one I speak of who's pregnant- the friend is not a "friend", nosiree. Still, I've seen enough baby & pregnancy-related horror flicks to know that the entire idea of having babies is wrong wrong wrong. Once that parasite starts leeching (which is immediate), the whole 'miracle of life' thing simply no longer applies as far as I'm concerned.

If you're into it, though, that's cool and more power to ya. I'm glad my mom was into it, otherwise I wouldn't have been made...and then where would the world be? Surely everything would be a little less elegant.

I blame it all on this poster, which I saw hanging outside the long-gone movie theater that stood next to the long-gone Barker's department store. I was with my mom, and I was only very, very, very small, but this shit gave me some serious nightmares. Therefore, we can all blame the fact that my bloodline will NOT continue on one Mr. Larry Cohen.

Well, blame or give thanks. Whatevs.

other stuff

Yes, other stuff is totally happening at AMC! Feel free to check 'em out and flap yer gums: this week I'm talking about Asian remakes...I know, I'm the very first person on The Information Superhighway to discuss the topic. I'm nothing if not timely!

Last week, my column about The super duper best kills of the Friday the 13th film series was posted. I wasn't here to tell you, and now you feel as though you're falling behind what's cool and with it, right? I know, I'm sorry. It'll never happen again, I swear*. Here's a little something to make up for it.

*It'll totally happen again, probably soon.

Hey, you…

...have you ever found yourself sitting around thinking "Hmm. If Jaws from Jaws and Mega-Shark from Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus ever got into a kinda-fight, that might be neat. Gosh oh golly, I wonder who would win!"?

Really? ME TOO! So I decided to talk about just such a thing over at AMC. Gosh oh golly!

"I say...a most amusing rumination."

won’t you help a sista out?

You will?! Oh, fabulous. It's so easy! All you have to do is:
  1. Head over to AMC and read my latest, all about stuff you should...you know, watch. If you left a comment over there, or clicked "recommend", that would make my editor happy. Trust me, it's horrible when she's NOT happy. I'm not going to say she hits me, but she totally does.
  2. Wish a happy birthday to Chainsaw Mafia honcho (honchette?), Fangoria Spooksmodel, Ludlow staaaah, and all around super lady Shannon Lark.
Shannon Lark: bloody and "with it", yet totally gluten-free

What oh what will you get in return, besides that thrilling feeling one only gets when doing a good cyber-deed? Here's what you'll get: a whopping almost ten minutes of awesomely horrible horribly awesome horriblawesomeness from that craptacular flick I recently reviewed, Don't Go in the Woods...Alone! Finally, after all these few days, you can witness for yourself some of the worst acting in the history of ever- and all for just a few clicks. Hooray for everything!

other places, other times

As I'm sure you're well aware, I cheat on you all the time. Why you continue to put up with it, I have no idea. Is your self-esteem really so low? Have I convinced you- and I hope I have- that no other blog will ever want you? And that it's your fault that I have to go and write for other places because all you do is nag and besides, you look like you've gained a little weight?

Well, guess what, suckers- I'm flaunting my dalliances yet again! Wednesdays are AMC days and over the past few weeks I've written about:
Yes, I'm aware that today is Thursday, not Wednesday, but the best thing about The Internet (besides this) is the fact that you can use it to travel into the past, even if you're only wearing your underwear. Mind you, I would never do that because it's perverted.

I'll also have a movie review in the forthcoming Rue Morgue #91. Reading Rue Morgue is also something you can do whilst clad in naught but your undies. But again, that's perver-- no, actually it's quite fun.

And with that, I bid you good day. GOOD DAY.

No, wait! Start your movie mogul career by donating to the Ludlow fund. To those of you who already have, you're such superstars and THANK YOU. If I ever saw you on the street, I would hi-five you so hard my hand would fly off. Perhaps it would comically land in the soup of someone dining at an outdoor cafe and oh, how we would laugh!

And so are the days of our lives.

I just realized I have two pictures of Macdonald Carey on my harddrive. I'm not quite sure what this says about me, but let's just assume that it's something cool.

this is hardcore

Dear My Bitches,

First of all, this post is not hardcore in the least. Actually, it's rather lame. See, I'm knee-deep -- scratch that, I'm fucking xyphoid process-deep in editing Ludlow and I haven't much time to do much of anything except stare at the computer, wondering if what I'm doing is any good. I'll be finished with it early next week, and then... MUA HA HA.

Speak of mua ha ha, here's another screen cap. Oh how provocative.

My point is, I'm totally super big-time sorry that things have been quiet and lame around here, but before you know it I'll be back to watching movies and trying to think of pithy comments just for you. Things won't really heat up- if they ever...you know, actually "heat up"- until it's time for the next Film Club installment, when Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror ushers in AN ENTIRE WEEK of foreign zombie action. Well, foreign to me and my fellow Americans, anyway.

Speaking of zombies and me actually writing stuff, my AMC column this week is all about the many zombie flavors there are available- enough to fetidly fill a Baskin-Robbins.

I'm not sure that entirely makes sense, but anyway.

You can always be my fake cyber-pal if I don't blog enough here to keep up with your absolutely maddening demands. I mean, how would you know that I wanted some pickles today unless you follow me on Twitter? These are the issues that impact my life.

insert title here

Dear y'alls,

Today, as I'm sure you're well aware, is AMC day. This week I wrote about serial killers and movies based on them. It depressed me. I can't deal with real-life crime for too long; I'll see that there's a marathon of Forensic Files on some Sunday and I settle in to watch, all psyched. Then after two episodes I quit because I can't cope with the notion that, you know, you live your life the best you can for 80 years, then it all ends in terror when some stranger stabs you and robs you and your body is found 3 weeks later stuffed into a fucking dumpster.

So anyway. It's a cheery column. Now little robots stabbing people, I can get with.

The Mellencamps

Baby, sometimes bad movies just hurt so good! Over at AMC today I've listed 10 of my favorite bad horror movies, so check it out! I've talked about most of them before, I think, but it never hurts to spend some more time discussing Rumplestiltskin.


It’s Wednesday Day!

...which, of course, can only mean one thing: I've got a new column up at AMC! This week, feast your eyes upon 10 kickass horror movie taglines! Chime in with your own favorites, but don't get all up in my grill with stuff like "How could you not include The Thing?" because, yes, I agree that "Man is the warmest place to hide..." is a fantastic tagline and I did include it, but the list I submitted was culled from 25 taglines to 10. Oh, these crosses I bear!

In other news, I went to a screening of Drag Me To Hell last night. There's an embargo on reviews for another couple of weeks, but...umm...it was fucking awesome.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Yes folks, it's the one day a year where we all thank our moms for enduring nine months with a parasite sucking her dry, 30-40 hours of excruciating pain to spew out the parasite, and the rest of her life dealing with the parasite's illnesses, bad behavior, and facial piercings.

Okay, maybe there's some up side to childbirth, but frankly I just don't see it. I'm certainly glad, however, that my mom did. My mom is pretty damn awesome, actually- she's the reason I got into horror movies to begin with, which is why I interviewed her for Pretty Scary way back in the day. Go check it out, and say nice things in the comments, because she's probably reading this.

I figured I'd also post a link to something else I wrote back in said day, an AMC column dedicated to horror movie moms. Sure, sure, we all dig Mrs Voorhees, but be sure to give Wendy Torrance some love!