Entries Tagged 'charles nelson reilly' ↓

a look back at the other day

Well, my friends...SHOCKTOBER is officially SHOCKOVER.

I know. I feel your pain. My jack-o-lanterns are already caving in on themselves as if they've each got a bad case of meth face...my local Target took down their display of horror movies...and -GASP- I watched 2 movies yesterday with no intent at all of reviewing them! It all feels so strange- although one of those movies I'm going to have to write about because...well, I just have to. But this post is not about looking ahead to the future, oh now- it's about remaining stuck in the past! I'm going to extend that Halloween feeling by doing a little post-game wrap-up of the month that was, using the same categories I did for my very first October wrap-up waaaay back in 2 thousand fucking FIVE! However, in the interests of being fresh and exciting, I'll use some new categories as well. Oh, SHOCKTOBER, I just can't let you go.

Movie that kicked my ass the hardest: Hmm. I don't know, did any movie actually kick my ass this month? I liked- even loved- quite a few flicks this month, but nothing really threw me for a loop like The Brood did that first year. Splinter was pretty effing righteous, but the movie I keep coming back to, the one I keep thinking about, is Voice. Yeah, that surprises me, too.

Person I saw the most onscreen during the month: Terry O'Quinn made two appearances: The Stepfather and Pin. Dina Meyer was also in two movies this month: Crazy Eights and Saw. Good thing I like them...you don't want to know what would happen if I despised them! Okay, nothing would happen...so sue me.

Person I saw the most OF onscreen during this month: Oh, boobs. Where would we be without you? Wrong Turn 3, Trick 'r Treat, Slaughter High...and plenty of other movie featured this month featured women in all their glory. Then again, Slaughter High featured Marty in all his glory, too...equal opportunity and all that. Whether "glory" should actually apply to any of it is up to you.

Best moments: Really, any moment from Mausoleum applies here as the entire affair constitutes one 90-minute long best moment.

Reaffirmed infinite love: Slaughter High is the only film I watched this month that I'd seen before and yes, my infinite love was, in fact, reaffirmed. "Let's par-deeeeeeee!" Ugh...SO GOOD.

Most disturbing visual: Disturbing...well, the shitty latex mask in Wrong Turn 3 certainly disturbed me, and hairy people copulating in Nail Gun Massacre was something I never wanted to see. As far as, you know, disturbing in a deliberate, horror movie way...I don't know. Nothing's really jumping out at me. That gives me the sads, seriously.

Best comment: First of all, thanks to everyone who took a moment to chime in with a comment throughout the month (or anytime, for that matter). But! The prize goes to both Nick for "'..and of course you know my good friends Dr. and Mrs. Nietsneknarf...'"on Dracula A.D. 1972, and Joel Henry Minkin for "I wish I could cause spontaneous embroidery via combustion" on The Spell. Incidentally, the films that brought about the most conversation (as of this writing) are Saw and Wrong Turn 3, with 18 comments a piece, while no one gives two shits about Hardware or Crazy Eights- they finished with a whopping zero comments each! Harrumph.

Most infuriating: Obviously The Toybox can go fuck itself as I couldn't even make it through a viewing of that thing, and Stan Helsing bit it hard, too...but Wrong Turn 3 was absolutely the most infuriating. It hurt my heart place to watch such a shitariffic sequel to a movie I love so much.
Theme of the month: Houses, buildings, more houses, and more buildings. From The House with Laughing Windows to Mausoleum to Catacombs to Black House to The Morgue to House of Seven Corpses to Slaughter High to Haunting of Winchester House, I certainly had my fill of plaaaaaaces of terrrrrror.

So there you go. I'm sad to see SHOCKTOBER come to an end, but it's also a relief not to review a movie every day. It takes it out of ya! Oh, yeah, I did cheat that one day where I talked about video games. But it's my site, I can do whatever I want! See? I can post a picture that doesn't have anything to do with anything if I want to, just because I can.

Oh, who am I kidding? Match Game (you want to click that link) has everything to do with everything.

I can't wait 'til next October!

awesome movie poster friday – the SHOCKTOBER PART 3 edition!

Wow, I can't believe SHOCKTOBER is winding down! Slim pickin's this week, for as you all know I had a spate of dookitastic movies, many of which don't even have posters. Thank Charles Nelson Reilly above for Splinter!

the end of the beginning of the end

First off, let me just say that I have no clue what that post title is supposed to mean. Hopefully you can find some sort of deep symbolism or what have you.

Kids, tomorrow's the big day! Which big day, you ask? Well, it's the big day where I head back to Ludlow to finish shooting Ludlow. Hooray! You know what that really means? It means we're all getting to that time when I no longer have to talk incessantly about this damn movie because I will no longer be thinking incessantly about this movie. What a glorious day that shall be!

So, I'll be back in a week's time. Shannon Lark is here (duh...although I did toy with the idea of replacing her with Sarah Chalke for the remaining scenes) (that's a Roseanne reference) (I fucking love me some Roseanne) (seriously, I get trapped when Nick At Nite or whatever shows 50 Roseanne episodes in a row...I can't stop watching) (I'm like a chain smoker except instead of smoking, I'm...you know...watching episodes of Roseanne) and we've got several big big days planned: finishing Ludlow, shooting one of her short films, shooting a trailer for one of my films (ooh la la!) and camping for two days in Death Valley. All that in a week? Pfft...no probs.

However, the average summer temperature in Death Valley is right around one million point three; therefore, if you don't hear from me some time next week, please send a search party out to look for our shriveled-up corpses. Hooray again! HOORAY AGAIN I SAY.

I'd like to give one last round of thanks to everyone who donated, even if you could only spare some kind thoughts. Your generosity is overwhelming, and it's amazing to have people believe in us and this project...and thanks to all of you, the scenes we're adding to the film are the best yet. I just hope you end up liking the finished product...I'd hate to have you embarrassed that your money went to (and your name is attached to) some piece of dook.

Watch lots of horror movies whilst I'm gone!

Oh my lord, I love Briefcase Woman.

Yes, and YOU, Charles Nelson Reilly.

Oh, and YOU, dear readers!

Sunday afternoon search terms

Once again, it's time for that ever-so-popular* feature, These Are Some Google Search Terms People Have Typed In And Subsequently Found Their Way To Final Girl.

Mind you, these aren't all from today, but that doesn't diminish their power! Feel free to hazard your guesses to the many, many questions in the comments.

sex goddess loses her wig

supernatural nudies

magic little nudies

- Clearly the two "nudies" searchers should meet and fall in love.

master of unlocking

- This one pleases me to no end.

horror movies good for the soul

- Why yes...yes, they are.

retro tits blog

- "retro tits" are almost as good as "worker boobs".

Naked Bea Arthur photos

- Really? REALLY?

what movie was it when a giant worm fucks a girl?

what it means if girl laughs at you at night club?

- Your fly is open?

if a girl uses a pen to masturbate what will happen?

- There's a Vagina Monologues joke in there somewhere...

girl with masturbating shoe

- A masturbating shoe? I'd pay real money to see that!

will you marry me with string?

- Sir, I wouldn't marry you with twine.

what does it mean when burning sunshine while been horny?

genie francis plastic surgery

- This has become my most frequent search hit, surpassing even "Shannon Tweed nude".

what if a car has a wig on that stink like a terd would I still love her.

- Car...has wig...that stinks? You know, putting a bunch of words in a row doesn't necessarily constitute a sentence.

I once knew a chick named annie may oooh

- Good for you! Celebrate this moment of your life with some International Coffee.

It amazes me that people sometimes click through to Final Girl when the search results come up. I'm also amazed by what people are searching for.

You said it, Charles Nelson Reilly!

Previous editions of These Are Some Google Search Terms People Have Typed In And Subsequently Found Their Way To Final Girl can be found HERE and HERE.

*it amuses me