Entries Tagged 'do what I tell you to do' ↓
July 16th, 2009 — amc, awesomeness, briefcase woman, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, hooray for everything, ludlow, me me me, the history of ever, you guys rule
You will?! Oh, fabulous. It's so easy! All you have to do is:
- Head over to AMC and read my latest, all about stuff you should...you know, watch. If you left a comment over there, or clicked "recommend", that would make my editor happy. Trust me, it's horrible when she's NOT happy. I'm not going to say she hits me, but she totally does.
- Wish a happy birthday to Chainsaw Mafia honcho (honchette?), Fangoria Spooksmodel, Ludlow staaaah, and all around super lady Shannon Lark.
Shannon Lark: bloody and "with it", yet totally gluten-free
What oh what will you get in return, besides that thrilling feeling one only gets when doing a good cyber-deed? Here's what you'll get: a whopping almost ten minutes of awesomely horrible horribly awesome horriblawesomeness from that craptacular flick I recently reviewed,
Don't Go in the Woods...Alone! Finally, after all these few days, you can witness for yourself some of the worst acting in the history of ever- and all for just a few clicks. Hooray for everything!
July 9th, 2009 — amc, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, icy spicy leoncie, me me me, you guys rule
As I'm sure you're well aware, I cheat on you all the time. Why you continue to put up with it, I have no idea. Is your self-esteem really so low? Have I convinced you- and I hope I have- that no other blog will ever want you? And that it's your fault that I have to go and write for other places because all you do is nag and besides, you look like you've gained a little weight?
Well, guess what, suckers- I'm flaunting my dalliances yet again! Wednesdays are AMC days and over the past few weeks I've written about:
Yes, I'm aware that today is Thursday, not Wednesday, but the best thing about The Internet (besides
this) is the fact that you can use it to travel into the past, even if you're only wearing your underwear. Mind you, I would never do that because it's perverted.
I'll also have a movie review in the forthcoming
Rue Morgue #91. Reading Rue Morgue is also something you can do whilst clad in naught but your undies. But again, that's perver-- no, actually it's quite fun.
And with that, I bid you good day. GOOD DAY.
No, wait! Start your movie mogul career by
donating to the Ludlow fund. To those of you who already have, you're such superstars and THANK YOU. If I ever saw you on the street, I would hi-five you so hard my hand would fly off. Perhaps it would comically land in the soup of someone dining at an outdoor cafe and oh, how we would laugh!
And so are the days of our lives.
I just realized I have two pictures of Macdonald Carey on my harddrive. I'm not quite sure what this says about me, but let's just assume that it's something cool.
July 6th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, ludlow, so i made a movie, you guys rule
Alright, people, this is it. As you may well be aware because
I won't shut up about it, Ludlow is finished. It's been slapped on a DVD and screened for some friends. In fact, I thought I'd reached a time when it would no longer rule my days and haunt my nights...and I'm sure you all thought you could just watch the fucking thing and be done with it, right? That's nice, in theory, but...
See, the final cut of the film turned out to be a whopping 63 minutes. 63 MINUTES, a result that was rather unexpected, to say the least. After all, the script was only 20 pages.
Now, as you may notice, 63 minutes is quite close to the running time of a feature film, yes? And a wee too long a run time for a comfortable short, yes? Yes. Obviously, this only means one thing: I need to write some more, shoot some more, and make Ludlow longer. I need to expand the elastic waistband on the comfortable short(s) and make this into a feature, which will be easier to get into the grubby mitts of audiences. Stronger, faster, better!
Shannon Lark (ze star) will be back here in Los Angeles in early August. Once more, we're going to truck out into the Mojave Desert and, barring any typical Ludlow-related shananigans, we're gonna finish this puppy.
Here's where you come in, o dear reader. We need to raise funds to complete our arduous task. Travel, lodging, FX, these all need to be covered, so we're asking for donations.
Donate $10 and your name gets in the credits of the film. The person who donates the most by Friday, August 7th will also receive a 16" x 20" painting by me, subject matter of the donor's choosing.
Yes, I feel a bit presumptuous offering up a painting by me as a "prize", but I have no idea what else to offer. Check out my work
here to see if that's something you'd be into.
We don't need much money, but we do need some. All proceeds will go towards the making of Ludlow- however, should we receive money over the amount we need to finish the film, it'll go towards whatever's next on our slate- and Shannon and I have a good four projects lined up to make together.
Any amount will help. Alright, frankly a penny won't help that much, but I'll still take it and give you my eternal gratitude in return.
Now, if you're saying "That's all fine and good, but you haven't shown us crap beyond that
teaser trailer. What am I getting myself into? I don't even know what this movie is about!" Well, here's what the skinny be, as best as I can tell ya...or Heidi at
Pretty/Scary can tell ya, 'cause she told it just right:
Shot in the California desert in just a few days under grueling circumstances, Ludlow's plot involves a woman (Shannon Lark) stalked by her abusive ex boyfriend and aided by a well-meaning sister (Elissa Dowling) which quickly turns deadly.
There you go. And here's a little clip. Oh, this shit is NSFW, but then so is Final Girl, so...
So. Give if you can, or if you want to, even if it's only well-wishes. Repost this or link to it on your own website and spread the indie horror love. The movie-making flame BURNS!
June 11th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, get out of my head, ludlow, me me me, so i made a movie
Hey! You!
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......DAMMIT CHARLENE, STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!
"I will eat your soul!"
What I meant to say is, hey you! Have you been sitting here reading about
Ludlow and thinking to yourself, "Pfft...whatevs. I could make a movie that's so much better than that!"? Okay, first I have to ask why you've got such an attitude about it. I mean, it's great to have self-confidence and all, but you haven't even seen my movie yet, so what's with all the preemptive "Meh"s? I thought we were friends here. Can't you be supportive JUST THIS ONCE?
Anyway, I'll address our beef later.
Wow, that sounds hot.
Are you a filmmaker? Do you want to make a movie? Do you have a vagina? Do you have a vagina that's ATTACHED TO YOUR OWN BODY? If you answered "Holy crap YES!" to one or more of those questions, then take note! The
Viscera Film Festival has just launched its third year and they're actively seeking submissions.
The VISCERA Film Festival, an online short horror film festival that promotes progressive female filmmakers in the horror genre, has just opened its doors for new submissions.
VISCERA is a Festival created by The Chainsaw Mafia, a horror website/production company geared towards Artists of the genre coming together to create. The Chainsaw Mafia works with Sponsors of the Festival; film critics, horror websites, festivals, and magazines to create maximum promotion for the selected filmmakers and their work. Viscera films have been screened all over the world through the sponsoring film festivals, garnishing awards for the filmmakers and promoting their work to completely new geographical areas.
This year the awards include sculptures from Lipstick Teeth’s Brian S. Allen, which will be presented at the very first VISCERA Premiere in 2010. Each filmmaker is interviewed and promoted by The Chainsaw Mafia, placed in the Viscera Women archive, and each film is placed on a DVD and distributed to the public through thechainsawmafia.com. Filmmakers’ bios and information regarding their work is available on the DVD, which goes out to the Festival’s Sponsors shortly after duplication.
VISCERA accepts films in two categories: women directed/produced films (half of the crew/cast needs to be female, men are completely welcome on set), and women-only productions, which are sets geared towards facilitating more women working together in the genre. The VISCERA Award (a monetary award of $200) has been created for the latter category.
The officially selected films for 2008 will be released on DVD this summer, which will include the work of Devi Snively, Stacie Ponder, Izabel Grondin, Belinda Green-Smith, Faye Hoerauf, Jessica Baxter, Ebony Winston, Chandeline Nicole, and Shannon Lark. The VISCERA Award 2008 winners are Jennifer Gigantino and Natasia Schibinger for their film, “The Date.”
For submissions, VISCERA’s Director Shannon Lark suggests that “beginning filmmakers should focus timing their submissions around 30 seconds to one minute. VISCERA is about quality, not quantity.” For those ladies who are interested in submitting but don’t know where to start, The Chainsaw Mafia deeply encourages them to contact Shannon Lark with any questions they have.
So, ladies and men who know ladies,what are you waiting for? Pick up a camera and go. If I can do it, you can do it. I'm thrilled to be a part of Viscera. Shannon Lark is the hardest working woman I know and she's put together something truly special here, so get with it.
Later on, I plan to put together something truly special myself- I'm going to call it "a sandwich".
There's exciting Ludlow news coming down the pike- well, it's exciting to me, anyway, and as this is my own website of which I am the boss, I'll be posting about it when the time is right. Right now, I'm still editing away...here's another still for you to look at through your eye holes. It doesn't really tell you much about anything going on in the film, but I think it's awful purdy. So there.
June 5th, 2009 — buy my crap, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, me me me, you guys rule
Really? That many people? Neat! Now, then: how many people like art and would like to own some?
Hello?
Well, if you raised your hand, you're in luck. I'm having a...a...FIRE SALE on stick figure sketch cards- they're going for the low, low, LOW SO LOW IT'S INSANE price of $12 each, including shipping in the US. Yes, a mere $12 each...or 3 for $30!
Wow, I feel so Crazy Eddie right now.
Here's a samplin' of the type of card you'll get to clutch to your very own bosoms if you take me up on this offer:
To see more examples, you can totally
click here. WOW I SAY. Subject matter is your choosing, and you're certainly not limited to horror movies or video games. If you want a card of your Aunt Ethyl, that's fine by moi.
I feel like "Ethyl" is the go to name for old aunts, but has anyone ever actually HAD an Aunt Ethyl?
Anyway. I'm doing this LAST DAYS LIQUIDATION SALE because post-production costs on
Ludlow have skyrocketed. It's just typical Hollywood budget bloating- no longer satisfied with munching on peanut butter toast while I'm editing, I want to upgrade to grilled cheese. So help a bitch out and put me to work! You get some art, I get some grilled cheese. It's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it!
Email me at stacieponder at gmail.com to talk turkey. Paypal is totes welcome. Oh, and just in case folks don't know what a sketchcard is, it's...a card on which an artist sketches.
Ha ha ha! But really, they're baseball card-sized pieces of art, 2.5" x 3.5".
May 27th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, ludlow, paintings, so i made a movie
I made this while I was dumping footage onto my computer. Working on a painting of the same image for...whatever reason.
It's so Dawn of the Dead-y, although that wasn't my intention going in. I don't even know if I had any intentions going in- it was just for fun. As was this painting, which is now sitting over in the corner:
So...I don't know. If anyone out there wants to buy a Gill-Man (The Creature Waves Hello!) or commission something else entirely, hit me up with an email. You can check out more over at
the gallery on my website. Paintings make great gifts!
I assume. I mean, no one's ever bought me one, so I wouldn't really know.
*tear*
Go see Drag Me To Hell this weekend!!
May 18th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, voting is the best
...you can vote for Final Girl over at yon Large Association of Movie Blogs's LAMMY Awards, where yours truly has been nominated in 8 (eight!) categories.
Voting is only open to those who are LAMBS themselves...if you've got a movie blog and you're NOT a LAMB, well, what's your problem? Join usssssss.....
Here's a link to the complete list of nominees and all that jazz. Some of the comments are awesome, and that's all I'll say about that.
April 15th, 2009 — amc, battlestar galactica, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, me me me, metaphorical boners
What up, peeps? Big apols for being so remiss in my blogging duties. I fear the next week or two will be light as well, for I am balls deep (metaphorically, I swear) in prepping for the shooting of a short film. WOW, it's true! It's been occupying 99% of my time; I've only come up for air to watch DVRed episodes of America's Next Top Model (I'm so team Fo, despite the fact that she calls herself "Fo") and yes,
Harper's Island, which debuted last week on CBS. If you're a horror fan, I suggest checking it out- it's not, you know, overly frightening or gory - this is CBfriggingS- but it's an intriguing murder mystery following the slasher formula. Click that link to find out more and watch the premiere; characters will be killed off every week, so you don't want to get too far behind. Besides, all the cool kids are watching it and you DO want to be a cool kid, don't you? Smoking is no longer enough!
Though I may be MIA next week, my AMC columns will still go up on Wednesdays, so don't fret. This week, my excitement over the DVD release of Slaughter High has prompted me to yak about
a few slasher flicks I like. Omigawd, I know- it's like, so what else is new, right? Haw haw.
By the way, you should watch Slaughter High now that it's readily available. You won't be sorry! Unless, of course, you're a jerk.
Speaking of not jerks, check this out: mi amigo Wes Fierce (of the highly way awesomer than FG site
Horror Film Magazine) had a bee in his creative bonnet and subsequently sent me this:
Yes folks, that's a one-sheet for EsKILLator, which you surely recognize as one of the
fifty horror films I'd like to see. Actually, it's number one on the list!
The cast list is certainly inspired- Sid Haig and Tricia Helfer...that's a team up the world has been waiting for. One of you start an online petition and let's get some funding for this puppy!
April 4th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds
Just a FRIENDLY reminder that my Fangoria LA ticket giveaway sweepstakes extravaganza ends tomorrow night at 9pm PST.
Click here for the deets and enter like you've never entered anything before!
The power of Vicki commands you.
April 3rd, 2009 — amc, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, jerks
I got an email from my ol' pal Scott Weinberg regarding the fact that Time Warner Cable has dropped FEARnet from their lineup, meaning that TWC subscribers no longer have insta-access to various horror movies. Not cool, amIright? I am.
Read this to get the skinny...then call 1-877-FEAR-247 and tell the jerks in charge that you won't stand for this malarkey!
On second thought, maybe you shouldn't call them jerks. I think it's fine to use "malarkey", though. Godspeed, TWC subscribers! This doesn't affect me as I use DISH Network and I don't have FEARnet to begin with; While I think my "If I can't have you, NO ONE WILL!!" attitude works great in relationships, I think everyone should have access to horror movies, even if the choices include Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horrors. Make your voices heard!
In the Hey, I Like This Poster Better Than The US Version, Although I Must Admit It's Ripping Off The Poster For A L'Interieur department, comes this Japanese poster for The Broken, one of the After Dark 8 Films to Die For, in stores now now now!
"Eww, dude, you're totally leaking on me"
Also, this week at AMC I wrote
a piece about Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, which you can, like, totally read. Huzzah, hooray, ahoy!
March 28th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds
Don't forget, children, Monday is Film Club Day...so be sure to get yer Beyond on before then!
Email your write-ups (or whatever you've got planned) to me at stacieponder at gmail dot com, and be sure to link to Final Girl in there somewhere.
Mua ha ha...MUA HA HA I SAY.
March 20th, 2009 — do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds
Dear Friends,
It's the last day to send in your votes for the
7th Annual Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards. Final Girl is nominated in the "Best Horror Blog" category. If you would like to vote for Final Girl, please do so today.
Thank you for your consideration.
hugz-n-stuff,
FG
How's THAT for polite sincerity?
Listen, while I'm not...you know...making any threats "per se", I just thought I'd remind you that Angela knows how you're voting and...you know...Angela does what Angela does.
February 27th, 2009 — 1981, do what I tell you to do, Final Girl FIlm Club, From The Feeds, ye olde
Yes, you read that headline right! I've got all sorts of goodies for you today. So why don't I just shut up and get to 'em already?
First up: I've got 4 day passes to
Fangoria's Chicago stop on their Weekend of Horror tour! 4 passes to give away! In a giveaway contest! The show is coming up fast (March 6-9) so enter now by dropping me a line:
Send an email to stacieponder at gmail dot com with "FANGO" in the subject line by...mmm, 2pm (PST) on Monday, March 2. I'll draw winner names that day- they'll be drawn randomly, so butt-kissing won't get you anywhere.
Of course, that doesn't mean that butt-kissing isn't welcome.
The guest list is SA-WEET- Lamberto Bava! Ruggero Deodato! Marilyn Burns! Alan Rowe Kelly! Don't be a jerk...enter NOW!
Nextly, this
recent discussion of Ye Olde Timey Slasher Movies can mean only one thing: it's Film Club pickin' time! And I'm pickin'...
Fulci, baby, and his 1981 goresterpiece (I don't know what that means) The Beyond. Boing!
The film has been recently released in a super-fancy-pants edition but it's not on
Netflix's current rotation, so you "everything has to come to me or I won't do it" types may have to rethink your strategy. Or not. I guess it depends how cool you want to be. Or not be. Whatevs.
Prepare to have your mind warped!
The film: The Beyond
The due date: Monday, March 30
February 25th, 2009 — amc, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds
Part 2 of my Trilogy of Terror II cartoon review will be up later today...meanwhile, why don't you head over to AMC and
give some love to the unsung hero actors of horror? Like this guy:
Hmm? Why don't you?
February 23rd, 2009 — cockroaches who can fart fire, do what I tell you to do, From The Feeds, me me me
Hey y'all, today's the day of Dead Lantern's Splatcademy Awards! For which I was nominated! In a category!
Let's all
listen at 1pm central time today and find out if enough of you kind folks voting so I can be crowned "winnah". I certainly hope so, otherwise I'm sitting here in a Mishi Mooshi gown for nothing. Alright, so it's enough to simply be nominated. Sigh.
I made up Mishi Mooshi, by the way. This gown- and by "gown" I mean "appliqued vest" is actually from the
Quacker Factory.
Anyway, give the good fellows at Dead Lantern a listen. And don't just say you'll listen- do it! Lest 1) you fail tomorrow's quiz, and 2) this happens:
Why that would happen, I can't really say. I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.
Shannon Lark: bloody and "with it", yet totally gluten-free
