Entries Tagged 'hair' ↓

so i made a movie: VOYEUR, part two

Yes, So I Made A Movie: Voyeur, which is a short film written by, directed by, and starring Shannon Lark, which we shot whilst I was away. We just know how much you dug our silly write-ups for Ludlow, so we decided to continue the series. See what you've wrought? This is what happens when you pay attention to us. Part One can be read here.

SHANNON LARK: I woke up the next day (I think it was Thursday) with a massive hangover. It was baaaad, and Stacie greeted me with the best cup of coffee I had ever had in my life! I asked her what she put in it, and she looked at me oddly, “uhhhh….coffee?” I agreed with myself to agree, although I still believe that she put some sort of magical-ness into it then I can only hope to harness one day.

STACIE PONDER: Dammit, that hangover was supposed to be mine! We'd agreed before Shannon even left New Mexico that she'd be the one giving ME water and nursing my drunkenness after the party and during the long drive to San Fran. It just goes to show, something something something.

In related news, that coffee was pretty fine. You MIGHT say that the secret magical ingredient is unicorn milk, or as it's more commonly referred to, "soy creamer"…which sounds vaguely like a porn star name. Roy Creamer, maybe…hmm. Anyway.

SHANNON LARK: I sat on the couch and we talked while the pain from my noggin’ was slowly lifted. We decided to hit the road and we had breakfast in an ultra-70’s style coffee shop that Stacie was in love with and made a visit to the grocery store, where we bought one can of almonds for our trip.

STACIE PONDER: Oh my God, I do so love the Lamplighter- born in 1977 and it hasn't seemed to have been altered since. It's totally full of grey-haired folk all the time; it's the only place I've ever been where all the handicapped parking spots are ALWAYS full. And I dig that it's half diner, half cocktail lounge. I LURVE the cocktail lounge with its cranky old bartender and the chairs that roll. They roll because they have WHEELS on them! Whenever I have to "take a meeting" (which has happened…err, once, I think) I do it at the Lamplighter cocktail lounge so I can feel as if I'm at the Cattleman's Club on Dallas.

And yes, we pushed a cart around the grocery store for 15 minutes only to emerge with a single can of almonds. I can't decide if that's pathetic or awesome.

SHANNON LARK: It was totally awesome! Stacie drove like a maniac out of LA, onto I-5, where we got to see the sights and smell the smells of California’s dustbowl. Mmmm….

I sang and danced and looked at people through my binoculars as we neared San Francisco. All the old feelings of seeing SF came back to me, and I was perfectly happy I didn’t live there anymore. I love the place, but it was just time to leave, you know?

Stacie is an expert driver, so we parked at the downtown garage and hit Union Square to work with Jane, the other actress, through some blocking. There was a peace rally for Iran happening and people kept coming up to us because they thought we had the petition due to my trusty production folder. Little did they know it had images of rape all over it. Heh.

We could only do so much out in the open air (although in SF you can get away with a lot), and Jane parted ways with us shortly after the meeting. Stacie and I headed off to stay at a residence of an old friend of mine, Darren, and found rock star parking. WOO! Seriously though, Stacie had never been to SF before and she took on those hills like they were nothing. I was amazed and somewhat hypnotized.

STACIE PONDER: I was totally channeling the late, great Karl Malden in The Streets of San Francisco! But really, Shannon had warned me that people freak out driving around SF for the first time, intimidated by all the hills. Meh. I'm definitely not a driver who gets intimidated by much…after living in and tooling around New York and Boston, what else is there? Besides, the hills are meant to be conquered…and they're rather fun, if I do say so myself.

I will admit, though, that we found kick ass parking the whole time we were there. My Parking Fu was quite strong.

SHANNON LARK: We lugged our baggage up to Darren’s, hit the Starlight Room for some wonderful hospitality, and then passed out like two peas in a pod. We awoke after a good sleep and went to breakfast with Darren at a local café. Stacie and I jumped in the car and checked out the local Video rental house on the search for a monitor to hook up to an HD camera. Oh boy…they had the worst monitors, with missing knobs and screws. It was pretty terrible and overpriced (ahhh…San Francisco). We decided that going with a computer monitor would be even better than renting the ones available. We got everything packed up and played the waiting game until 2:30pm. The waiting is truly the worst thing about filmmaking. Neither of us are very patient (except with each other, I’ve noticed), so it was difficult to wait around: rechecking my notes and storyboards for the 16th time.

STACIE PONDER: The very idea of getting a monitor for this shoot let me know that it would be quite…well, different than what I was used to on my own films. A monitor and a crew? These are things that are entirely foreign to me. Shannon doesn't fuck around, and while it's awesome, it was honestly only adding to my secret anxiety about shooting her film. There would be people watching shit on a monitor, JUDGING ME. What if it stunk? What if these people were laughing at my work, or even worse, at my hair? Shannon's biggest requirement for Voyeur was that I "make it pretty", and it was getting to be time to see if I was up to it.

file photo of Final Girl

SHANNON LARK: I had no doubts that everyone was going to love Stacie's hair. 2:15 hit the clock and we were off to Harry’s place, which was conveniently 2 blocks away. We were ready to rock!

wrong wrong wrong

An A for effort maybe, but in every other regard, undoubtedly an F. Times fifty.

I admire that he went the extra mile and combed his hair and shined his shoes for school picture day, but stabbing with a machete? Come on now. Moron.