Entries Tagged 'zombiephiles' ↓

Strippers VS Zombies – The Zombiephile Reviews “Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!”

zombieszombieszombiesWow. Just, wow.

How did the world exist, thrive even, before Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! was created? And what will the world do now that we’ve experienced it? Life will truly never be the same.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies is that classic story of boy meets stripper, boy becomes zombie, stripper kills zombie. An excellent setup for a zombie comedy (zom-com, to use the cultural vernacular).

If you can stomach the low budget, if you can handle the ridiculous dialogue delivered with tongue practically piercing cheek, if you’re up to the outrageously bad special effects, and if you like strippers, pimps, and crackwhores (this Zombiephile certainly does), you’re ready for Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

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Don’t be smackin’ the booty buggy, bitch!

When an experimental super space-crack starts turning regular crackwhores into zombie crackwhores, it’s up to a ragtag bang of strippers, pimps, prostitutes and the men who solicit them to survive the zombie outbreak barricaded inside of their local strip club. Certainly nowhere near as polished as classic zom-com greats like Shaun of the Dead, this movie still manages to pull off a meta-textual quality that makes it rise to the top of this Zombiephile’s pile of recent zombie movies - because honestly there’s little in the world he likes better than cheap, trashy, undead chicks.

With show-stoppingly poor dialogue (My personal favorite: “I have had it with these motherfuckin’ zombies in this motherfuckin’ strip club!”), delivered with all the enthusiasm of…whatever it is that crackwhores normally say, this movie is - well, it’s lots and lots of fun. I can’t resist sharing another line of dialogue that just couldn’t go unprinted:

Space-Crack Scientist:
“Do you know what I do here?”

Hero:
“Sure, you make crack that turns whores into zombies.”

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“Them ain’t crackwhores, them bitches is crackwhore zombies!”

So the next time you’re thinking of taking a hit of space-crack, think twice - you could turn into a zombie, moaning around the daytime door of your favorite local strip club. Which isn’t all that bad a way to go, I suppose, as zombie outbreaks go.

For its ridiculous premise, outrageous boysenberry-syrup gore, and one incredible topless zombie-stripper fight scene, this Zombiephile gives Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! a spirited 2.5 moans out of 5 - which is actually pretty good, considering that we’re talking about a movie where a john actually pulls his car up next to a zombie prostitute, lets her in the passenger side door, and then has his penis bitten off. Sweeeeeet!

Zombiephiles.com Is Getting a Facelift

Rejoice, fellow zombiephiles! After a long, lingering, festering absence, our Zombiephilic site admin has returned and is in the process of re-designing and upgrading The Zombiephiles. Here’s a rundown of a few of the upcoming changes you may or may not notice:

  • Gravatar Support. The Zombiephiles now supports Gravatars, avatar icons that follow you from site to site. When you write comments, simply use the email address you’ve registered with at Gravatars and your avatar icon should show up automatically (like mine!)

  • Comment Auto-Moderation. No more will you have to wait for our undead editor to shuffle to the keyboard and approve your comment. New spam moderation features mean that we can now accept comments without administrator moderation - so keep it clean, people!
  • Add / Share Links. At long last, you can quickly and conveniently add your favorite articles on the Zombiephiles to your favorite linking services, including Digg, Reddit, Sharethis, and del.icio.us. So get linking!

In addition to new features, we’re revamping the site’s styling, so things should start looking sexier and sexier. Not the zombies, but the site surrounding them. Zombies almost never look sexy (except when the Zombiephile writes about sexy zombies).

Site upgrades will be ongoing, and of course, there’s our new Zombie Showdowns poll section to chew on. We’ll be reviewing some new zombie movies (including “Zombies Zombies Zombies,” the new zombies vs. stripper movie) and bringing you survivors more of that zombie cultural analysis that you love us for.

So, until next time, zombiephiles of the world, unite!

Zombiephiles Hacked – By Zombies

Perhaps recent visitors to the Zombiephiles have noticed something different. Instead of our infectious zombie humor, news and entertainment, visitors were instead greeted by an outbreak of the more everyday variety - a javascript downloader virus in the header.php file of our Wordpress installation.

Now, this Zombiephile will tell you that when it comes to Blogging, his specialty is zombie defense, not hacker defense, but as soon as he learned of the infection he sprung into action, quickly eliminating the script reference in the site’s installation files and changing login information - but not before some loyal zombiephytes were exposed to the infection.

Long and the short of it? Zombiephiles.com got hacked, and although we can easily undo the damage, we’re not entirely sure how hackers gained access in the first place. Updating the site’s Wordpress installation seemed like a good idea, as did changing our administrator login and boarding up the living room windows. Some of our more paranoid zombiephytes are concerned that this may be an informational attack by the government in the days leading up to a potential zombie outbreak - and this zombiephile isn’t discounting the possibility.

For the short term, however, we’re declaring the Zombiephiles.com to be a Green Zone - no zombies here.

Zombiephiles Hacked – By Zombies

Perhaps recent visitors to the Zombiephiles have noticed something different. Instead of our infectious zombie humor, news and entertainment, visitors were instead greeted by an outbreak of the more everyday variety – a javascript downloader virus in the header.php file of our WordPress installation.

Now, this Zombiephile will tell you that when it comes to Blogging, his specialty is zombie defense, not hacker defense, but as soon as he learned of the infection he sprung into action, quickly eliminating the script reference in the site’s installation files and changing login information – but not before some loyal zombiephytes were exposed to the infection.

Long and the short of it? Zombiephiles.com got hacked, and although we can easily undo the damage, we’re not entirely sure how hackers gained access in the first place. Updating the site’s WordPress installation seemed like a good idea, as did changing our administrator login and boarding up the living room windows. Some of our more paranoid zombiephytes are concerned that this may be an informational attack by the government in the days leading up to a potential zombie outbreak – and this zombiephile isn’t discounting the possibility.

For the short term, however, we’re declaring the Zombiephiles.com to be a Green Zone – no zombies here.