Entries Tagged 'Zombie Showdowns' ↓

Poll – Zombies Vs. The Wehrmacht

This week’s zombie faceoff is a politically and historically charged topic, one that has been discussed ad nauseum by this Zombiephile’s friends, family, and fellow zombie slayers; we felt that it was well past time we put the question to you, zombie fans of the world: Who would win, zombies or the Nazi war machine?


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Zombies Vs. The Wehrmacht - who would win? The question has plagued historians and zombie fans alike for decades - finally, you zombiephiles will have the chance to answer it.

Just how would Hitler’s minions face against throngs of the undead? How would the Luftwaffe fare against massive armies of the walking dead? Would the Kriegsmarine have any tactical advantage at all over endless mobs of the zombiefied Heer?

It’s like Wolfenstein, except that the zombies and the nazis aren’t the same people. Zombies have their usual strengths and weaknesses, and the Wehrmacht is - well, it’s a war machine. Zombies can turn nazi soldiers into zombies themselves, and the Germans have Rommel.

Tough call, zombie fans. You decide.

Semi-Weekly Zombie Poll #3 – Zombies VS Triffids

Well, Zombiephiles, it’s time for another (semi) weekly Zombie faceoff - and this one is a toughie: Zombies Vs. Triffids.


What’s a triffid, you ask? Tsk, tsk - shame on you. Check out this triffid/zombie article that Josella Chrysalids-Harris posted last week to learn more about the triffid phenomenon. Essentially, triffids are killer zombie plants. More or less.

First seen in Robert Wyndham’s classic The Day of the Triffids, these tall green meanies like to wait for humans to all go blind (remember what your mother said about going blind) and then smack them with their vicious triffid stingers.

Alright, people, let’s run down the facts.


1) are plants. Therefore zombies probably wouldn’t want to eat them. This gives triffids a decisive advantage.
2) like to eat rotting flesh, which zombies have in abundance.
3) were probably genetically engineered by Russians. This doesn’t affect their performance against Zombies at all, but I just wanted to mention it.
4) would never be able to remove the head or destroy the brain. Big strike against triffids there.

Now, as we all know, Zombies:

1) don’t eat plants (just like the zombiephile). See #1 above.
2) don’t mind being eaten by plants, and probably wouldn’t notice if they were being eaten by them.
3) can’t infect triffids with zombieness. OR CAN THEY???

However you vote, I think there’s one thing we can all agree on - in a faceoff between zombies and triffids, humans will most certainly lose.

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Weekly Zombie Poll #2 – Zombies VS Skynet

That’s right, this week’s Zombie Showdown tackles the one undying question that has been burning in every Zombiephile’s heart for almost two decades: who would win in a fight, Zombies or Skynet?


Skynet, that time-bending artificial intelligence from the Terminator movies (and television show), going head to head with a full-fledged global zombie outbreak. It’s a tough call - let’s see why.

As this Zombiephile has mentioned time and time again, Zombies are hard to kill. Worse yet, every human who falls to zombies becomes a zombie himself, causing exponential growth in their numbers. They don’t eat (except brains and body parts), don’t sleep, and have worse personal hygiene than a liberal arts college student.

On the other hand, facing against an army of Terminators with Belgian accents and rippling biceps, most of those qualities aren’t necessarily strengths. Without an ample supply of humans to zombify, zombies may lose their numerical advantage; Terminators don’t eat or sleep either, apparently have less of a sense of humor than Dick Cheney, and are equally prone to shooting people in the face.

“I have detailed zombiephiles.”

But before you vote for the Terminators, remember that Skynet is programmed to deal with humans - not zombies. The lack of reason and rationality that embodies zombie behavior may short circuit Skynet logic chips, and the sheer volume of zombies (potentially 6 billion, give or take) could overwhelm Skynet’s robot armies. On the other hand, there’s always the distinct possibility that Skynet could win by sending Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to kill the original zombie, thus preventing the zombie outbreak altogether, which, I suppose, would actually be kind of a nice thing for them to do in comparison to their normal destroy-all-humans attitude.

Zombies VS. Skynet - you decide.

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Weekly Zombie Poll #1 – Zombies VS Ninjas

Zombies VS Ninjas

Ah, that classic clash of the titans, Zombies Vs. Ninjas. Ninjas are lightning fast, deadly, and of course, totally sweet. According to Robert Hamburger’s Real Ultimate Power website, ninjas:

  1. are mammals.
  2. fight ALL the time.
  3. flip out and kill people.

Now, in contrast, zombies:

  1. are dead already.
  2. never really sleep.
  3. also flip out and kill people.

So where do you stand? Zombies Vs. Ninjas - Who would win? Remember, ninjas are hot shit until they run out of throwing stars - and what could be scarier than am army of your zombiefied ninja comrades? On the other hand, zombie heads are notoriously soft and sliceable. You decide.
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