Entries Tagged 'you guys rule' ↓

killer tracks

One of my favorite things about horror movies is the all-too-rare "completely effing incongruous song". Now, I'm not talking about a misguided soundtrack, or the awful generic heavy metal that is constantly droning throughout most indie horror flicks.

Tangent: what's up with that, anyway? Are directors afraid of silence and/or ambient noise? TURN OFF THE MUSIC, IT WILL BE OKAY.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Now, what I am talking about, Willis, is the random song that doesn't much fit with the mood or atmosphere of the film whatsoever. This song may have you scratching your head. This song may pull you out of the moment- but the rarest of the rare pulls you out of the moment with straight-up awesomeness. Such is the case with these, my five favorite WTF? horror movie songs. I listen to them on my iPod because I am that hip (tell me I'm hip!). Here they are, in total countdown to YESSSS! order.

Listen: Kingdom of the Spiders

Before we get to The Cow Who Can Act, we're treated to some truly bizarre music during the opening credits: "Peaceful Verde Valley" by Dorsey Burnette. I'm not sure what kind of mood this song is supposed to establish, exactly: perhaps the peace of our verde valleys is meant to be ironi-tastic. Who cares? You know you want to sing along.

Listen: Killer Party


Phew, had to get that out. This 1986 movie might suffer from a case of the "What the Fuck Am I?"s- is it a slasher? a possession movie? a musical?- but what it doesn't suffer is a lack of I love it-ness. It's such a product of its time...and if you love 80s horror as much as I do, you'd be a jerk not to love Killer Party.

Oh my God, this song is so good! It accompanies both the opening and closing credits...and best of all, it's sung by the actresses who play the three leads (Vivia, Jennifer, and Phoebe).

WHY ISN'T KILLER PARTY ON DVD? I feel like starting an internet petition.

Listen: Creepshow

Short and oh so sweet is this little interlude in the opening story, "Father's Day", which finds Cass and Hank getting down. Thoughts:

1) I should have included this in my AMC column about horror movie dance scenes
2) Cass was total 80s white hotness
3) I love that this is recorded right from the movie and you can hear Cass's bangles...bangling
4) What the fuck kind of dance was Ed Harris doing, anyway?

Listen: House on the Edge of the Park

I know plenty of people who dig this David Hess-flavored rape-fest of a movie, but it's not really to my taste. What is to my taste, however, is this amazing track that accompanies a rapist-rapee dance sequence during a party at said house on said edge of said park. How can such a great song come from such a terrible film? How??

Listen: Maniac

One of these days I've got to write up some sort of review of Maniac, a film frequently slapped with the "misogynist" label- erroneously slapped, in my opinion. It's a fine line between being misogynist and being about misogyny, and I find Maniac to be in the latter category. It's not an easy movie to watch, and it's certainly not an overall pleasant experience- though it does contain some of the best stalking scenes in all of horrordom.

Whatever Maniac may be, however, it does clearly feature the MACK DADDY of fucking great incongruous horror movie songs with "Showdown". Amidst all the graphic violence, there's a scene that features sweaty creepster Joe Spinell breathing heavily while the object of his affection, Caroline Munro, photographs fashion models (that's her spouting direction and encouragement in the song). So so so sooooo good. Yippee...ki yo...ki YAAAAAAAAY!

Bonus track!

Listen: mystery song

Can you name the horror movie that features this track? I cannot, so if you know, set my mind at ease, won't you? It's the least you could do.

EDITED TO ADD: You guys rule! Mystery solved: It's the opening track for Cannibal Ferox, which I've never seen. That's some serious what-the-fuckery.

Okay, one last thing…

...from the ME Files. I guess I got 3rd place or something in Bloody-Disgusting's Blog Award thing, so I wanted to say thanks to everyone who voted. That is all.

FINE! Jesus.

one thousand

Dear y'all,

So this is it, my big 1000th post. Though I really have nothing profound to say (shock), I couldn't let the moment pass by without acknowledging it somehow. I marked the occasion of my 500th post with a rather lengthy entry describing Final Girl's humble roots and highlighting a few of my favorite posts. Wow, I just noticed that my 500th hit on November 20, 2007- almost two years ago to the day. That's surely significant of something...? Probably not. Anyway, what's happened in the two years since my last major milestone?

Since post #500...

...I think we can all agree that one of the best things that's happened around here has been the introduction of Briefcase Woman, who came along one fine day in May, 2008 to demonstrate the joys that can be had when one votes. Since then, she's spread her enthusiasm all over this blog like...like...well, let's honor her origins and vote for an apt simile, shall we?


...the Final Girl Film Club keeps chugging along, powered by the awesomeness of The Internet. We've covered a whopping 18 films since post 500, and there's no sign of stopping yet. Next up: The Wicker Man on December 14. What movies would you like to nominate for FGFC coverage? Before you answer, take a quick peek at my reviews archive to make sure I haven't already reviewed it.

...I made a movie- a few, really. Ludlow will be ready for mass consumption soon, a thought that's as terrifying as it is metaphorical boner-inducing.

...I've written 85 columns for AMC (holy crapping crap) and I've started contributing to Rue Morgue magazine. Both make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

...this little site just keeps on keepin' on, mostly business as usual. Reviews, stupid pictures, blah blah blah. As you know, I love Final Girl more than Donkey Kong loves throwing barrels at plumbers. While I could write exclusively for myself and be somewhat satisfied (being an only child grants me a +15 to both mana regeneration and my ability to entertain myself) (sorry, I've been playing Dragon Age: Origins) (it's so fucking awesome)...well, it wouldn't be the same without you guys reading it. Again, I say hooray!

Okay, now tell me what's been your favorite post or feature or whatevs here on Final Girl so I feel pretty.

What? I'm allowed to fish for ego-stroking compliments every 500 posts, that's the rule I made up.

Here's to 10,000 more posts! HUZZAH!

on pizza, voting, and the undead

So, Round 1 of the Home Run Inn horror movie contest ends tomorrow, and a Top 10 spot doesn't seem to be in the cards, which means no Round 2 for ol' Final Girl and Company. That's fine, because that means I don't have to talk about it every day. Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who voted for my silly little movie. It was fun to make, although the pizza was not necessarily fun to eat: words I never thought I'd say.

I just wanted to raise the point that many people have gotten in touch with me about: the website's wonkiness, and the difficulty in voting 15 times per day, or sometimes voting at all. Check out these comments left on the HRI site, my Facebook page, etc:
  • "The site doesn't work very well at all. It's hard to share and I'm very uncertain that my vote counted."
  • "It doesn't allow me to vote for you more than once!"
  • "Only let me vote 8 times."
  • "I went there and it immediately told me 'Thanks, vote again tomorrow.'"
  • "Today, after only voting ONE time, I got the 'thank you for voting, please come back tomorrow.'"
  • "Today the link isn't going anywhere..."
  • "I've tried registering with three different emails. Two never even got the confirmation message you have to get before you can proceed (not in spam either). The third did, but when I tried to then set up a password (the next mandatory step), the site crashed. And now it won't let me complete that account set-up either."
Umm...I think the site is buggy. I have no problem losing this contest or any other for whatever reason, but the site needs to work so people can vote so I have a fair shot. I entered a couple of weeks after it began, so I know I had a lot of ground to make up and thanks to you, I did. Still, as someone pointed out elsewhere, I wonder how I can be so far ahead in terms of votes- I'm ranked number one with about 27,000 views while the entry ranked number two- the leader in terms of votes- has less than half that. I'm a girl so I don't really get math, but I have to say, that doesn't really compute with me. Their site sucks.

I called the tech support number a few times to try to say as much- it's the only way to get in touch with them- and it just rang. Even their tech support sucks! For the record, this isn't sour grapes, believe me. Just noting the site's wonkiness, and that I tried to tell them.

Well, at least I made a 2-minute zombie movie about pizza with my friends, because creativity is never a waste. And at least many of you awesome peeps clicked away as often as you could. For all of you who are commenting about Mr. Zombie and how adorable and fantastic he is...you're right, he is! His name is Pete Loughran and he's a killer musician working on a new CD; I've gotten a sneak listen and it's gonna rock your face off. Give him some love!

the end of the beginning of the end

First off, let me just say that I have no clue what that post title is supposed to mean. Hopefully you can find some sort of deep symbolism or what have you.

Kids, tomorrow's the big day! Which big day, you ask? Well, it's the big day where I head back to Ludlow to finish shooting Ludlow. Hooray! You know what that really means? It means we're all getting to that time when I no longer have to talk incessantly about this damn movie because I will no longer be thinking incessantly about this movie. What a glorious day that shall be!

So, I'll be back in a week's time. Shannon Lark is here (duh...although I did toy with the idea of replacing her with Sarah Chalke for the remaining scenes) (that's a Roseanne reference) (I fucking love me some Roseanne) (seriously, I get trapped when Nick At Nite or whatever shows 50 Roseanne episodes in a row...I can't stop watching) (I'm like a chain smoker except instead of smoking, I'm...you know...watching episodes of Roseanne) and we've got several big big days planned: finishing Ludlow, shooting one of her short films, shooting a trailer for one of my films (ooh la la!) and camping for two days in Death Valley. All that in a week? Pfft...no probs.

However, the average summer temperature in Death Valley is right around one million point three; therefore, if you don't hear from me some time next week, please send a search party out to look for our shriveled-up corpses. Hooray again! HOORAY AGAIN I SAY.

I'd like to give one last round of thanks to everyone who donated, even if you could only spare some kind thoughts. Your generosity is overwhelming, and it's amazing to have people believe in us and this project...and thanks to all of you, the scenes we're adding to the film are the best yet. I just hope you end up liking the finished product...I'd hate to have you embarrassed that your money went to (and your name is attached to) some piece of dook.

Watch lots of horror movies whilst I'm gone!

Oh my lord, I love Briefcase Woman.

Yes, and YOU, Charles Nelson Reilly.

Oh, and YOU, dear readers!

it’s the final countdown!

do do do doooo
do do do do doooo
do do do doooo
do do do do do do doooo
do do doooo
do do doooo
do do do do do do doooo
do dooooooooooooooooo

Umm. What I mean is, I'm fixin' ta head back out to Ludlow in five mere days! Five! Mere! Days!

The scenes to be added have been written, and I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say that the footage WILL MAKE THE MOVIE LONGER.

As this was my intent, I am quite pleased.

The motel room has been reserved...sorta. I drove on out to Good Ol' Luddie a couple of days ago and requested a stay in Room 8 (where we'd originally filmed) next week, only to be told that Room 8 is not being rented at the moment. There's a broken air conditioner and "other problems". I certainly shouldn't be surprised that I've already encountered some sort of difficulty out in that hellish wasteland- really, duh. Doy doy, even. But still, man- fuckin' Ludlow!

I have no idea what's going on in Room 8, but I feel fairly certain that it was built over an Indian burial ground and the dum dum developers only moved the headstones.

Anyway, Shannon and I will soldier on as we do and Ludlow will be in the can in a week's time. That said, this is my final fundraising push! Seriously, you guys have been amazing with the donating. A. Maze. Ing. I'm ever so thankful, and with your help we're going to shoot the most EXTREME MOUNTAIN DEW STYLE scenes yet. I can't wait.

If you haven't given yet and you'd like to, click here to find out how- or just click the Paypal button on yonder right. Please, spread the word in these scintillating final hours!

To further tempt you, don't forget the goodies: the person who donates the most will receive a painting- this you already knew. However, there are now BONUS INCENTIVES! 2- yes, TWO- lucky folks will be chosen at random to receive a special Ludlow-related prize. A prize. Related to Ludlow. Ludlow the town. Prizes from the infamous Chevron station. Prizes that are, in the truest sense of the word, PRIZES. A $10 donation gets your name into the Super Ludlow Prize Raffle AND into the film's credits. That's a win-win if I've ever heard of one, and believe me- I have.

Besides, how can you resist helping out a girl who so clearly enjoys being doused with blood?

won’t you help a sista out?

You will?! Oh, fabulous. It's so easy! All you have to do is:
  1. Head over to AMC and read my latest, all about stuff you should...you know, watch. If you left a comment over there, or clicked "recommend", that would make my editor happy. Trust me, it's horrible when she's NOT happy. I'm not going to say she hits me, but she totally does.
  2. Wish a happy birthday to Chainsaw Mafia honcho (honchette?), Fangoria Spooksmodel, Ludlow staaaah, and all around super lady Shannon Lark.
Shannon Lark: bloody and "with it", yet totally gluten-free

What oh what will you get in return, besides that thrilling feeling one only gets when doing a good cyber-deed? Here's what you'll get: a whopping almost ten minutes of awesomely horrible horribly awesome horriblawesomeness from that craptacular flick I recently reviewed, Don't Go in the Woods...Alone! Finally, after all these few days, you can witness for yourself some of the worst acting in the history of ever- and all for just a few clicks. Hooray for everything!

other places, other times

As I'm sure you're well aware, I cheat on you all the time. Why you continue to put up with it, I have no idea. Is your self-esteem really so low? Have I convinced you- and I hope I have- that no other blog will ever want you? And that it's your fault that I have to go and write for other places because all you do is nag and besides, you look like you've gained a little weight?

Well, guess what, suckers- I'm flaunting my dalliances yet again! Wednesdays are AMC days and over the past few weeks I've written about:
Yes, I'm aware that today is Thursday, not Wednesday, but the best thing about The Internet (besides this) is the fact that you can use it to travel into the past, even if you're only wearing your underwear. Mind you, I would never do that because it's perverted.

I'll also have a movie review in the forthcoming Rue Morgue #91. Reading Rue Morgue is also something you can do whilst clad in naught but your undies. But again, that's perver-- no, actually it's quite fun.

And with that, I bid you good day. GOOD DAY.

No, wait! Start your movie mogul career by donating to the Ludlow fund. To those of you who already have, you're such superstars and THANK YOU. If I ever saw you on the street, I would hi-five you so hard my hand would fly off. Perhaps it would comically land in the soup of someone dining at an outdoor cafe and oh, how we would laugh!

And so are the days of our lives.

I just realized I have two pictures of Macdonald Carey on my harddrive. I'm not quite sure what this says about me, but let's just assume that it's something cool.


Alright, people, this is it. As you may well be aware because I won't shut up about it, Ludlow is finished. It's been slapped on a DVD and screened for some friends. In fact, I thought I'd reached a time when it would no longer rule my days and haunt my nights...and I'm sure you all thought you could just watch the fucking thing and be done with it, right? That's nice, in theory, but...

See, the final cut of the film turned out to be a whopping 63 minutes. 63 MINUTES, a result that was rather unexpected, to say the least. After all, the script was only 20 pages.

Now, as you may notice, 63 minutes is quite close to the running time of a feature film, yes? And a wee too long a run time for a comfortable short, yes? Yes. Obviously, this only means one thing: I need to write some more, shoot some more, and make Ludlow longer. I need to expand the elastic waistband on the comfortable short(s) and make this into a feature, which will be easier to get into the grubby mitts of audiences. Stronger, faster, better!

Shannon Lark (ze star) will be back here in Los Angeles in early August. Once more, we're going to truck out into the Mojave Desert and, barring any typical Ludlow-related shananigans, we're gonna finish this puppy.

Here's where you come in, o dear reader. We need to raise funds to complete our arduous task. Travel, lodging, FX, these all need to be covered, so we're asking for donations.

Donate $10 and your name gets in the credits of the film. The person who donates the most by Friday, August 7th will also receive a 16" x 20" painting by me, subject matter of the donor's choosing.

Yes, I feel a bit presumptuous offering up a painting by me as a "prize", but I have no idea what else to offer. Check out my work here to see if that's something you'd be into.

We don't need much money, but we do need some. All proceeds will go towards the making of Ludlow- however, should we receive money over the amount we need to finish the film, it'll go towards whatever's next on our slate- and Shannon and I have a good four projects lined up to make together.

Any amount will help. Alright, frankly a penny won't help that much, but I'll still take it and give you my eternal gratitude in return.

Now, if you're saying "That's all fine and good, but you haven't shown us crap beyond that teaser trailer. What am I getting myself into? I don't even know what this movie is about!" Well, here's what the skinny be, as best as I can tell ya...or Heidi at Pretty/Scary can tell ya, 'cause she told it just right:
Shot in the California desert in just a few days under grueling circumstances, Ludlow's plot involves a woman (Shannon Lark) stalked by her abusive ex boyfriend and aided by a well-meaning sister (Elissa Dowling) which quickly turns deadly.
There you go. And here's a little clip. Oh, this shit is NSFW, but then so is Final Girl, so...

So. Give if you can, or if you want to, even if it's only well-wishes. Repost this or link to it on your own website and spread the indie horror love. The movie-making flame BURNS!

all i ever wanted

Alright, kids, here's the deal. It's time for me to take a little... "rest".

I love putting it like that, because it makes me sound like an upper middle class mental patient from the 1950s. Which I very well could be! The truth is, though, that I'm simply taking a little vacation. During this week away I have but two goals: 1) shoot another short film with Shannon Lark, and 2) see some big trees.

The first item on that list is happening tomorrow- Shannon (of...you know...Ludlow "fame") has written and will be directing and starring in a short film, and I'm acting as DP. I've never shot anyone else's film before, so it's a bit daunting. I'll be sure to tell you all about it upon my return, so maintain your breath level at a firm "bated" whilst I'm gone.

As for the big trees, we're going to rock the Redwoods, and I cannot effing wait. As you may remember, I am a nerd for all things National Parks-related.

So! When I get back I'll have sketch cards to deliver- to everyone who ordered one, THANK YOU, they're coming next week- and Italian zombie movies to watch (Film Club, WOO!).

Also, in Ludlow-related news, I'll be posting up an actual clip sometime next week, once I figure out what to show you; yes, this means another exciting installment of "So I Made A Movie". The film is finished and last night I showed it to some people; no one pointed and laughed at me (that I saw or heard), so I guess it's not...err, laughably bad. Hooray! Here's another screen cap for your Ludlow scrapbook.

Be good to each other while I'm gone and watch a Tracey Gold movie in my honor. See you next week!

who likes art?

Really? That many people? Neat! Now, then: how many people like art and would like to own some?


Well, if you raised your hand, you're in luck. I'm having a...a...FIRE SALE on stick figure sketch cards- they're going for the low, low, LOW SO LOW IT'S INSANE price of $12 each, including shipping in the US. Yes, a mere $12 each...or 3 for $30!

Wow, I feel so Crazy Eddie right now.

Here's a samplin' of the type of card you'll get to clutch to your very own bosoms if you take me up on this offer:

To see more examples, you can totally click here. WOW I SAY. Subject matter is your choosing, and you're certainly not limited to horror movies or video games. If you want a card of your Aunt Ethyl, that's fine by moi.

I feel like "Ethyl" is the go to name for old aunts, but has anyone ever actually HAD an Aunt Ethyl?

Anyway. I'm doing this LAST DAYS LIQUIDATION SALE because post-production costs on Ludlow have skyrocketed. It's just typical Hollywood budget bloating- no longer satisfied with munching on peanut butter toast while I'm editing, I want to upgrade to grilled cheese. So help a bitch out and put me to work! You get some art, I get some grilled cheese. It's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it!

Email me at stacieponder at gmail.com to talk turkey. Paypal is totes welcome. Oh, and just in case folks don't know what a sketchcard is, it's...a card on which an artist sketches.

Ha ha ha! But really, they're baseball card-sized pieces of art, 2.5" x 3.5".

thank ye thank ye

If you listened to Dead Lantern's Splatcademy Awards pod splattercast, then you already know this l'il tidbit, but now I have a fancy button to make it official:

A big fat THANK YOU and all two of my thumbs up to everyone who voted for me. You guys are really the knees, and I'm not just saying that. No, really. I mean it. I do. No lie.

Coming up later: Trilogy of Terror II, part 3!

Coming up now: the cast of television's It's A Living!