Entries from August 2009 ↓

TV: MTV Orders ‘Teen Wolf’ Pilot

MTV's reinvention of the 1980s movie "Teen Wolf" is inching closer to reality with a pilot presentation order. The cable network announced the project in January as part of its development slate. After seeing the script, MTV brass picked it up to presentation. The 1985 film starred Michael J. Fox as a teenager who discovers he is a werewolf. The MTV version will be set in high school, draw from the horror genre to explore werewolf mythology and include a romantic plot line. "It has a fresh take and is very different from the original," said Liz Gateley, senior vp MTV series development. "It has more of an 'American Werewolf in Paris' feel to it. It's a dramatic thriller with two best friends in the center who provide a great comedy element: They are two very relatable characters on the outer circles of popular cliques." The new "Wolf" was written by "Criminal Minds" creator Jeff Davis.

A Darker Truth

While I'm intrigued by the idea of using a web series to promote a film or TV project, a lot of them tend to let me down in the execution. "A Darker Truth" was created for the CW's "Vampire Diaries". The acting was weak and the production values weren't much better. Why should we care that so-and-so killed your sister? Really difficult to tell a meaningful story in that short time frame -- although I believe the Japanese have been successful with cell phone soaps. Still, it is the first episode. I won't pass final judgment until a few more installments.

Sep 1, Creatures in Cages Try To Grab Scientists in 70’s Film

I am looking for the title of a 70's horror movie that I saw at the drive in when I was a child. There are cages on the ground that house people or

Rebecca DeMornay Your ‘Mother’s Day’ Mom!

Bloody Disgusting learned tonight exclusively that Rebecca DeMornay (Identity, "The Shining" mini-series) has been tapped to topline Darren Lynn Bousman's MOTHER'S DAY, which begins lensing next week in Winnipeg, Canada. She will play the mother. She stars alongside the previously announced Deborah Ann Woll, Briana Evigan, Alexa Vega, Shawn Ashmore, Matt O'Leary, Lyriq Bent and Lisa Marcos. Written by Scott Milam, the remake of the classic 80's Troma film follows three brothers on the run from the law head for home, only to discover that their mother lost the house in a foreclosure. Mother ingeniously orchestrates her sons' escape, teaching the house's new owners and their guests a few lessons along the way.

Aug 31, Cattle Dying in Small Farm Town

I remember a movie I saw twice as a teenager, and want to watch it again, but I cannot remember the title. It's set in a small town and there are

Spike TV Announces Nominees for Scream 2009

Resistance is futile this October as Spike TV presents the fourth annual SCREAM, the first and only global event of its kind to honor the best in sci-fi, fantasy, horror and comic genres. Taping on Saturday, October 17 at The Greek Theater in Los Angeles, CA, SCREAM 2009 celebrates the hottest films, tv shows, comics, actors, creators, icons and pioneers who have influenced and shaped the industry. This years show will also continue the tradition of featuring exclusive World Premieres from some of the most anticipated movies of 2010. The two-hour extravaganza will premiere on Spike TV on Tuesday, October 27 (10:00 PM-Midnight, ET/PT). Presenters and musical performers will be announced shortly.

Reaper Awards 2009 Nominees

The nominees for Reaper Awards 2009, the first awards campaign dedicated entirely to horror on home video, have been chosen by an esteemed panel of judges from within the horror community. Beyond the break you can read more about the event, see how to vote and of course, dig on the nominees.

Patrick Flueger Cast as Ike in Bousman’s ‘Mother’s Day’

Bloody Disgusting learned tonight exclusively that Patrick Flueger (Kill Theory) has been tapped to play "Ike" in Darren Lynn Bousman's Mother's Day, which begins lensing next week in Winnipeg, Canada. He stars alongside the previously announced Deborah Ann Woll, Briana Evigan, Alexa Vega, Shawn Ashmore, Matt O'Leary, Lyriq Bent and Lisa Marcos. Written by Scott Milam, the remake of the classic 80's Troma film follows three brothers on the run from the law head for home, only to discover that their mother lost the house in a foreclosure. Mother ingeniously orchestrates her sons' escape, teaching the house's new owners and their guests a few lessons along the way.

we are not amused

There came a point last night when I was faced with that dilemma which has plagued mankind since the very dawn of time- you know, when you sit on the couch late at night, all slack-jawed, thinking to yourself "I totally feel like watching something, but oh, whatever shall I watch?" Most times, I spend precious moments scanning my shelves (and my roommate's shelves) for a title to catch my eye, but then I end up watching nothing because I talk myself out of watching everything. This be how I do:
  • "I've seen that movie too many times already and I know everything that happens and I can't be bothered to labor through it all again at the moment" (Event Horizon)
  • "I've never seen that movie and I'll review it one of these days but I know it's going to be dreadful and I just don't feel like dreadful right now" (Nail Gun Massacre)
  • "It will most likely be good and perhaps even scary, but I know it's going to be a very, very quiet movie and I'll fall asleep within ten minutes and if I'm going to fall asleep I'd might as well go to bed because my bed is much more comfortable than our Golden Girls couch" (any ghost-flavored Asian horror flick)
  • "I wouldn't mind watching that, but it's not horror and I really ought to watch something I can review on my blog, which has taken over every facet of my being" (Sunset Boulevard)
  • "The Asylum...Maneater Series...Ghosthouse...After Dark...mehhhhhhhhhh" (any Asylum, Maneater, Ghosthouse, or After Dark title)
...and so on, until my brain finally 1) catches on fire, 2) freezes itself with liquid nitrogen, then smashes itself into a kajagoogooillion pieces with a hammer, or 3) goes and sits by itself in the corner, wondering what the members of Kajagoogoo are up to today.

Don't ask how my brain wields hammers and/or sits down- just trust me when I say that it does. The point is, life is very hard when it's late and you're kind of tired but not really tired enough to go to bed and you want to watch something but you can't figure out what. Wait! Actually, the real point of this is that last night I watched the direct-to-DVD feature Amusement (2009), a film I hoped would keep me awake and wouldn't be so bad that I wanted to kill myself- yes, sometimes my standards are that low.

Oh, don't act so surprised.

Amusement is an anthology that's not really an anthology; in other words, the film comprises 3 segments which eventually come together in a big, fat, denouement. Not a bad idea. Then again, someone though Crystal Pepsi was a good idea. Which it was. Wasn't it?

Okay, I'm not going to lie: I've never had a Crystal Pepsi. I'm a Diet Coke fan, what can I say? But I saw one once and it was totally futuristic, so it must have been a good idea.

ANYWAY. As the movie begins we meet Shelby (Laura Breckinridge), a young woman going...somewhere...for...some reason or another. Look, let's not get hung up on the details, alright? You need to keep in mind the big picture, which is that Shelby is the passenger in a car driven by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has an inexplicable boner for convoys. No, not the film, which might be understandable- I mean he's obsessed with being in a convoy, and he spouts dialogue which makes it seem as if 3-car convoys are what all the kids are into nowadays. Merr? The Boyfriend gets even more excited when - GASP! - the entire supermassive three-vehicle convoy stops for gas. Can you feel the excitement?

The Boyfriend introduces himself to one of the other drivers, The Nerd, but they're both ignored by the third driver, The Creepy Trucker. Shelby spots a bug-eyed girl in the window of The Creepy Trucker's rig, and it's obvious that something's just not right. Soon, though, everyone is back on the road, heading through the woods and the something's just not rightness gets amped up when the bug-eyed girl holds up a sign that says HELP ME. Moments later, she's somehow launched out of the 18-wheeler and splats in the middle of the road.

Et cetera et cetera, The Nerd is really the bad guy and he kidnaps Shelby. I'm serious when I say "et cetera et cetera". If I attempted to actually relay the happenings and twists and turns of the segment, all while trying to ignore a little something called LOGIC, my fingers would shrivel with exhaustion and you'd be holding up your own sign asking for help.

Cut to Tabitha (Katheryn Winnick), who shows up at her aunt's house for...some reason to...do something (noticing a trend?). She finds her two nephews home alone- they claim the babysitter just up and left. This is a good enough excuse for Tabitha, who decides to stay the night. Soon, a mysterious stranger shows up at the front door to let Tabitha that he knows what she did last summer asking about his girlfriend, the missing babysitter. Hmm...I get the feeling that something's just not right!

After he leaves, Tabitha settles in to her aunt's clown room for a little nighty-night sleepy time. What, doesn't every house have a clown room? This one is extra-special because it features a life-size clown with an eeeevil face. Oh, and he's alive.

He eventually chases after Tabitha, but her fate is unknown. Yours isn't, however: you've got another segment to deal with!

Meet Lisa (Jessica Lucas). Lisa is concerned that her cautious roommate went on a one-night stand with some dude from a bar and never came home. She remembers something about the guy, that he's staying in some hotel out in the middle of nowhere or something, so she goes to look for him.

Okay, I'm going to cut through half an hour of bullshit: the guy who runs the "hotel" is also The Nerd, who is also The Big Clown. He's lured Shelby, Tabitha, and Lisa to his headquarters to...exact revenge on them because, as we learn through a clumsy flashback, they did not find his 4th-grade diorama (in which he flayed a rat while it was still alive) funny. All of the scenarios he rigged to capture the girls reflect the subject matter of their 4th-grade dioramas.

Yes, Amusement ultimately revolves around 4th-grade dioramas.

AnyonetimeIdidaFrankensteindiorama, we come to discover that this dude apparently has built the entire town of Silent Hill miles underneath the farmhouse where he's keeping the girls. I can't be fucked to tell you any more than that, other than one of the girls escapes. The entire plot is built on the flimsiest of flimsy slasher movie-style 'revenge for childhood taunting' setups, and if you think about anything you're seeing or what this dude has actually done throughout the film for more than a nanosecond, your logic circuits will surely smoke, spark, and overload. That would be a bad thing.

I will say this: the three girls are decent enough actors. The dude, however, was far more irritating than frightening...and all you need to know about his performance can be summed up with this picture, specifically what's indicated by the helpful yellow arrow I added:

Tongue. See, that's how you know he's ca-RAZY!

Amusement was also nicely photographed, although it might have benefited from, say, 70% fewer dolly shots. But overall, it was pretty.

And pretty fucking ludicrous. Beyond pretty fucking ludicrous, actually...but I stayed awake throughout the entire affair, so I guess that's worth something.

Hurt, Elwes Topline ‘Shadows’

Bloody Disgusting learned that Return of the Living Dead III producer and Zyzzyx Rd director John Penney will be getting behind the camera from his own screenplay for Shadows, the latest Arclight production. William Hurt (The Incredible Hulk, The Countess), Cary Elwes (Saw), Ploy Jindachot and Paula Taylor are all set to star. Check out the synopsis beyond the break.

10 Sentence Review: The Final Destination

It was love at first sight: from the moment I first caught a glance of Final Destination across a crowded room, I fell and I fell hard. I was only a little ashamed to admit that these films (which showcase Death's blacker-than-black humor as he employs a Rube Goldberg meets Grand Guignol meets Milton Bradley's Mouse Trap devices to slaughter those who try to cheat him) had become, perhaps, my very favorite modern franchise. Part 3 had left me a little cold, but I hoped Part 4- which promises to be The Final Destination- would rekindle our love affair...after all, it's in 3- uh, excuse me, REAL D, and I loves me some...err, 3D. Real D. Crap flying at my face from the screen...whatevs.

As I'd hoped (and as we all expected), the death sequences in The Final Destination are such a hoot that they're, like, supersonic and you can't even hear said hoots. Blood and chunks fly as Death makes good on his life-claiming promises- as you know by now, no one can beat him. This franchise has never been about character development or plot...the films have always been little more than a showcase for Death's grand design. Unfortunately, the folks behind The Final Destination have finally admitted as much, and the nonexistent effort put into the violence-free sequences makes this entry in the series the weakest of the bunch, Real D mayhem or no. There's still tons fun to be had, for sure, but it's glaringly obvious that sadly, Death is on his last legs.

Official Clown Business in First ‘El Superbeasto’ Clip, Early Release Info

Are you ready for some official clown business? Dig on Suzi X's bunns of steal in the first official clip from Rob Zombie's The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. This animated film will worldwide premiere On-Demand and on Pay-Per-View September 7th, 2009. It will also play in limited theaters on September 12th and be available on DVD and Blu-ray September 22nd. Visit the official website for more information about the movie, clips, photos, and more! The 2-D animated comedy, based on the Spookshow International comic book "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto" created by Zombie, follows the exploits of a washed-up Mexican wrestler, El Superbeasto, in the mythic world of Monsterland.

Trailer for Horror-Comedy ‘Transylmania’

Arriving in theaters December 4th from Full Circle Releasing is a new horror comedy by the name of Transylmania. Directed by David Hillenbrand and Scott Hillenbrand, beyond the break you'll find the first official trailer for the film that takes place deep in the heart of the "cursed land" of Transylvania in a centuries-old castle, Razvan University isn't your typical institution of higher learning -- and the black leather-clad professors, three-foot-tall dean, instruction in crucifix-wielding, and topless vampiresses lurking in dark corners are just the start.

Aug 31, Rob Zombies Halloween II Horror Movie Review by BHM: Misses the Mark

Rob Zombies Halloween II misses the mark. It has two things going for it - the renowned Michael Myers and the equally chilling and ominous theme song. Other than that, the film fails on most levels.

Midnight Podcast Special Edition: Thunder and Ashes


The August 2009 Zombie Book of the Month is book 2 in the Morningstar Strain trilogy, Thunder and Ashes by ZA Recht.